


Red Ops

by BlackMajjicDuchess



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abuse, Espionage, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Murder, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-12 11:56:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackMajjicDuchess/pseuds/BlackMajjicDuchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto has a picture perfect life. He lives with his adoring wife, Hinata, and has a comfortable job within the ANBU Black Ops. Hinata works as a high-ranking medic in the hospital of Konoha. However, a small apartment, while ideal for a ninja couple, is not quite suitable for a family abode. Therefore, the pair is ready to upgrade their life to make room for their future children. Naruto needs a higher paying job, and so accepts an offer from a mysterious Konoha ninja he has never seen before.</p>
<p>His first impression of this ANBU "Red Ops" is that they are extraordinarily strong, the elite of the elite. Soon, however, it becomes horrifically clear that this level of strength comes at a steep price that he is not capable nor willing to pay. In order to survive his new job, Naruto must embrace depravity and become everything he never wanted to be in order to destroy it.</p>
<p>But even if he survives…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on fanfiction.net under the same pen name on 3/31/2010
> 
> Adult themes, violence, emotional distress and abuse, disturbing and/or graphic descriptions, and language. I would not say this is the most epic battle-packed saga of all time… but I do like to consider myself fairly skilled at descriptions of thoughts and feelings. The way this is written is a progression of Naruto's psyche into the darkest, most painful of human conditions. It starts happy and gets progressively more distressing.
> 
> If I have done this properly, you should be upset by the end of it. I warn you… this has no happy ending...

Chapter One-Waking Up

I saw the morning sunlight before I even opened my eyes as it glared through the thin barrier of my eyelids. It was just another morning, one of the many mornings I hated and wished I could just sleep through. On the weekends, I did usually, but during the week there were things that needed doing. It seemed my to-do list was never to-done. It was annoying, but there was not much to do about it. The sun was cutting through my window and seemed to have one single purpose: waking me up. I groaned, unwilling. Just a few more minutes, please. A few more minutes, damn you! I yanked the covers over my head and groaned again. It didn't help though, for I was already awake. Instead, I stretched out across the king-sized bed I shared with the most wonderful woman on earth.

My toes accidentally dug into the cleft of her rear end, however, and made her flinch and squeak. It was an odd way to wake a woman up, and I don't think she appreciated it. "Naruto!" she wailed sleepily, placing a hand over the offended area. I chuckled mischievously, pretending I'd done it on purpose. It was my job, of course, to annoy her in the least offensive way possible. I rolled over on my side to face her back and just stared. I usually stared at her while she was still sleeping, but on a rare occasion I was allowed the luxury of watching the perfect creature in my bed as she woke up, slowly, gracefully, and oh so adorably.

As usual, I was amazed at my sublime stupidity. How had I ever liked the other girls? Sakura had been so loud! Whenever I heard her voice now my whole body rebelled in irritation. The timbre of her voice grated on my ear drums and threatened to tear my skull apart. Not to mention how often she had hit me. I had always tried to impress her though, despite the beatings. But now, it made no sense. She had never even been interested in me until her first choice for a boyfriend had gone mad and tried to kill us all. With a taste in men so horrible, I guess I could say I was glad she never took an interest in me. I probably would have gone insane too… especially with that voice nagging me day in and day out. How I had I missed Hinata? She had seemed practically invisible for most of my life. She'd hidden in the world, trying to keep herself isolated so she could privately enjoy watching me, a fact I will never be able to imagine without losing my breath. I was amazed when I learned she had been watching me since the academy. I had inspired her? When I had finally gained enough wits to realize just how cute she was, she had inspired me!

Hinata Hyuuga had grown up differently than me, but in much the same way. Her father had given her away to Kurenai because she had been a disappointment. I often wondered which would be worse, growing up without parents, or growing up with parents who did not want you. I still can't decide, but this simple fact brought us together when I realized it. It was more than that though… I had finally noticed Hinata, really noticed her, when I was sent to the hospital on the edge of death. Tired, beaten, and completely out of chakra—my own and Kyuubi's—I had been beaten within an inch of my life by a strong opponent. I can't even remember his name. I had been rushed to the hospital—by Hinata. She had heard I was late coming back from the mission. My teammates had lost track of me and had returned to the village for help. Hinata and Neji, on account of their eye jutsu, had been sent with the reinforcements. Hinata, I am told, took sole responsibility for me. She had found me herself and taken me back to Konoha's hospital as quickly as she could. She didn't even stop to tell her teammates that I had been found, but the blood and the footprint signature in the area had been testament enough, and her team forgave her for ditching them once they found out how I'd been found. She stayed with me, only her. I had been slipping in and out of consciousness, and all I remember was a solitary figure, seated demurely as close as she could be without suffocating me, watching my breathing during her every waking moment, petrified that it would stop. My head hurt, and I didn't even bother trying to figure out who it was until I awoke fully. I matched the shape from my fleeting moments of consciousness to her seated form, put two and two together, and realized that not only had she been seated there for the entire duration of my stay, she had been my only visitor.

So where had my friends been, you may ask? They had heard I had not returned and had assumed I was goofing off. They were unconcerned. When I was rushed back to the hospital, they were busy celebrating a birthday. I don't remember or care whose it was. When the celebrations were over, they forgot for a few days. Kakashi was out of town the whole time. By the time they remembered, I was already awake, and their damage had been done. I was angry and felt they didn't really care. Their saving grace had, incidentally, been mine. Hinata convinced me that they did care about me, and tried to tell me stories of other times they had been there for me. It was a little too late for me though. I forgave them of course, but in my mind I had realized that the quiet kunoichi at my bedside cared more about me than everyone else. She had left her team to protect me and had never left my side.

It was weird to me, then, that she could care so much. It would take me days to understand exactly what had happened because, you remember, I had never truly noticed her before. I took her out for drinks—and learned, to my dismay, that she didn't drink and so I had messed up, again—to thank her for probably saving my life. She was shy and spent a lot of the time staring at the countertop. Apparently she had been a lot braver when I was unconscious than she was when I was awake. I had always been known for my cluelessness, but I had finally figured it out that day. She was only shy around me, only fainted around me. I had been told it was because she liked me but I didn't know it was because she liked me. Now I knew. Not only did I know, but for the way she had cared for me before, during, and after the hospital—for she had checked up on me after I was released to be sure I was recovering—I decided it was worth a shot to get to know her better. My efforts with Sakura were getting me nowhere, and I had a bit of a reputation from trying to peek at other girls in their baths or locker rooms. Besides, I was still mad at Sakura for not coming to visit. She worked at the hospital for crying out loud! I didn't care that they were understaffed. She could have stopped by.

And so, I started seeing Hinata. At first, she was not very interesting. She spent a lot of time staring at nothing and saying very little. At least her weird stutter was pretty much gone. It didn't mean she talked more though, just more clearly. However, when she finally realized I had transcended beyond simply thanking her for helping me, she opened up a little. Eventually she confessed that she had always liked me—which, by that time, I already knew—and I confessed that I was beginning to like her, too.

One thing led to another. I married the girl. That day had been the most nerve-wracking day of my life. For one thing, I had to dress up, which was never my favorite thing to do. I suddenly felt like I had no idea what I was doing, and no amount of training or practice was going to prepare me for what I was about to do. I almost ran away. Then, I saw her there, the shyest, most nervous girl I had ever met, standing there calmly, ready to walk to me, blushing around half-lidded eyes and peeking at me from under those curved lashes, and I realized that if she could make the damned walk I could certainly stand there and wait for her to make the damned walk.

That night had been nothing short of breathtaking. I had totally forgotten about what husbands and wives were supposed to do on that first night, and so had she. We'd stolen a few kisses before, but our relationship had been more about being close and less about being physically intimate. When we arrived at the new house, we were excited about seeing our friends all dressed up and happy about finally being married. When the door shut, we both suddenly became shy. We knew what was supposed to happen next, and neither of us had really thought about it too much.

I'd seen girls naked. I'd never had one under me. Hinata had never seen boys naked. Her blush when she saw me had been priceless. We were shaking with nerves when I kissed her, and I didn't know if my knees would make it as I carried her to the new bed. My heart pounded like a herd of cattle (a lot like the one that had chased me the day at the arena for the chuunin exams, in fact!). While I won't go into detail, suffice it to say that was the most exquisitely pleasant evening I had ever had. It had not gone quite as smoothly for my new wife, of course… it had been her first time, too. Eventually she would come to enjoy it as much as I did though.

Ah yes, life had been so sweet to me. Once I had discovered Hinata, I could not help but love her.

I watched her back as she struggled to go back to sleep since I had poked her. She sighed and settled her head into the pillow. All I could see of her head was that long cascade of indigo hair that I had to restrain myself from touching each time I saw it. Her hair was so soft… I reached out and touched a stray tendril, one that would not disturb her, and sighed when my fingers connected. I still could not believe how lucky I had been to marry someone so sweet.

I snuggled closer. Well, if she did not want to wake up, then I would have to wake her up my way. Besides, it was morning, and part of me was always well awake before my eyes were. I grinned. She always resisted sleepily when I woke her up my way but she always gave in eventually. It was probably my favorite thing to do.

I curved my body to fit hers. I didn't think I would ever get used to the way skin feels against skin, especially mine against hers. Hers was so pure white, and so perfectly soft. I let my 'morning wood' settle into the crease of her buttocks and placed my cheek against hers. "Hinata," I whispered into her ear. "Time to get up… I'm already up," I told her devilishly.

"Mmm," she groaned. "Naruto, it's…" she glanced at the clock, "…only nine a.m. I don't have to work today, so let me sleep, alright?"

I rubbed myself up and down against her and breathed into her ear. When that didn't seem to work, I nuzzled her neck, planting soft kisses up and down before finally latching onto her collarbone with my mouth.

"Mmm," she said again, but it wasn't a groan this time. I felt her skin tighten against my cheek as she smiled. I continued my attention, knowing I was winning this battle. I felt her breath catch as I nibbled her earlobe. It was her favorite spot, I knew very well. I felt her breath catch and release in a shudder.

"You're not resisting very well this morning," I noted.

"Mm-mm," she hummed.

"Good," I said, smiling.

Finally, she turned to face me, giving me the view I had wanted. Her breasts were the perfect size, and definitely my favorite things ever. Besides, it was always intriguing the way they hung on her body when she was turned sideways. The blanket still covered her below the waist, leaving me with just enough view of the curve of her hip and abdomen to tease me and remind me what the curves were pointing toward. Oh well, I would get to that in a moment. Her eyelids fluttered open partially, peeking the lilac-colored eyes I always lose myself in out from under gorgeous lashes. The barest hint of a smile was on her peaceful face as she regarded me in my nude splendor. Well, I liked to think of it as splendor, and she seemed to think so too, so I could believe what I wanted to.

Feeling victorious, I set my attentions to my favorite things ever and buried my face in her breasts. Her breath escaped her all at once, and her eyes shut again. "You never get tired of this, do you?" she whispered. It was a rhetorical question, but I wanted to answer it anyway.

"Never."

The problem with having hot passionate sex in the morning was that I always had trouble getting out of bed afterward. I was already late to meet with my ANBU buddies, but by now they were getting used to it. I often got teased when I showed up, but I loved it. Today was no exception.

"Oy, Naruto," Genma called to me. "Your Hyuuga vixen is hot, for sure, but maybe you ought to keep your dick in your pants in the morning. You suck at being on time." He winked at me.

I grinned, running a hand through my hair. "You're just jealous, Genma. You can't sleep with anyone hot enough for you to want her at the end and the beginning of every day. I feel sorry for your old lady."

He chuckled and clapped me on the shoulder. "Whatever. Come on, let's get to the drills."

Genma had belatedly taken up a position in ANBU, and quickly rose to leadership within it. I always thought it was a little weird, but Genma confessed laziness, much like Shikamaru, and said he had never really felt the urge. It was not until he had finally settled down with his own wife and had his first child that he understood what it meant to protect his village, and he went about it with a renewed fervor. He had been an excellent captain, at least insofar as I was concerned. He was fighting for something, and that always made a man tough.

I loved working in ANBU. I got to wear the uniform, which always made Hinata's eyes shine. My mask was very fox-like, which came as no surprise to anyone. Besides that, I was often assigned to the task of guarding the Hokage. It was given to me for a number of reasons, mainly because I knew the Hokage on a first name basis and because I planned on taking over for her when she was gone. It gave me a little more insight into the job itself. When the monotony of it got to be too tiresome, however, I was sent on scout missions and assassinations, missions that ANBU was more known for. It was work that made any man proud to wear the uniform, and work that made their women proud to be their wives.

Hinata worked at the hospital. Her more passive nature led to a natural instinct to protect and nurture. Although she was still a ninja and constantly worked on her jutsu, she was relieved to have a use outside of being a killing machine. It was just another one of the things I loved about her: she would so much rather heal than hurt.

Lately, Hinata and I had been discussing the future in a little more detail. I wanted a higher position. I had not really decided, however, if I still wanted to try for Hokage or if I wanted to stick with ANBU. Being an ANBU captain would be fulfilling and the pay was a lot better than being a scout. She had just been promoted to her own wing at the hospital, which was plenty for her. She never wanted to really be in charge, but being head of a whole wing meant she could do a lot of good for the village. It also meant a lot less being sent on missions, which suited her just fine. As soon as I found a new job, the plan was to start a family.

Ah! I could not wait. I'd had so many dreams about what sort of children would come from a pair like Hinata and me. I'd been playing around with names in my head for some time, unbeknownst to her. I had yet to come up with a name I thought was good enough, however. When the time came, I would probably just let her name them all. Besides, I doubted there was anything in the world that she could do that would really bother me.

The last thought I had as I transitioned my concentration from my home life to my drills was to imagine her hard at work at the hospital. All I could think was Wow. The medics never ceased to amaze me. It took a great amount of effort to be a medic, and it took a special kind of person to be so close to life, death, and everything in between.

Hinata was definitely a very special person.


	2. A Tempting Job Offer

I was tired, and that was something. Genma always managed to work us pretty hard, but ANBU were the best, and we were not the best for nothing. Genma was merciless. I called him a slave driver to his face, but he always just laughed at me. I was not actually upset with him of course; it was nice that someone tried to challenge me, and me continuing to be challenged meant that I would always be better somehow, and that suited me just fine. No matter what I did, as long as it resulted in me somehow being better at something... I was usually game.

Besides, after a good hard work out like this, Genma would usually buy me a drink or two and talk to me about how great we were all doing with the Black Ops. He had actually turned out to be a pretty decent leader, as much as it surprised me. He wanted us to do our best, accepted nothing less, but always told us when we were doing a good job. Buying a drink or two at the end of the night was a way to remind ourselves that ANBU was still a job and we were still friends. It was also a good way to wind down and get into a relaxed mood before I returned home to my sweet and peaceful darling. Otherwise I felt like a slob.

As I was headed off the practice field, however, a kunai bloomed in the ground before my feet. Attached to it was a note with a single word:  _stay._ I did not pretend to know who sent it or what it meant besides the obvious, but I knew I could handle whoever threw a lone kunai and did not hit me. I called ahead to Genma and the guys. "Go on ahead without me. I'll catch up later."

Genma waved back and called over his shoulder, "Okay, Naruto, but don't forget Natsu's birthday next week, yeah?" I nodded back, and they continued to the pub. Natsu was one of his kids.

When they had disappeared, one ANBU appeared from the shadows. I raised an eyebrow. What was this? In the fading sunlight, I noticed that this one's uniform was not ANBU standard. It was almost pure black with scarlet accents here and there: the undershirt, a band around each arm, and the wrappings that held his weapons in place. The figure walked toward me, posture perfectly straight, gait graceful and deadly. He did not make a sound, and seemed as silent as the night air itself. If it were dark outside, I probably would never have seen him until he was inches from my face. Needless to say, I was impressed by this apparent member of ANBU. He made me feel clumsy. And the colors of his uniform were far less gay than the ones I was forced to wear. Who thought up lavender anyway?

I would never forget this moment; the moment one lone warrior from the shadows approached me. It was a moment that would change my life forever, irrevocably, and irreparably. This man was about to ruin my life, and at the time I had no idea. Not even a single clue. I would learn to hate this man with every fiber of existence. I would try to kill him some day. I knew none of this at the time, of course. All I felt back then was that this ninja was stronger than me, deadlier than me, and more important than me, and I was hungry for that kind of strength. What could I do if I were this man?

"Naruto Uzumaki," the voice rasped from behind the featureless black mask. It was a frightening voice, soft, firm, and utterly toneless. It was mechanical, machine-like. Was there anything human about this man? I realized later that this  _should_ have been a red flag, pun intended, but back then I was stupid,  _so_ stupid.

I nodded to him, my heart skittering with excitement. "Yeah, that's me."

He held a hand out to me. Reflexively, I shook it, never taking my eyes off this strange man. His grip was solidly strong, almost painful. We regarded each other carefully, though it was hard to maintain a stare when you could not see someone's eyes. "I am not allowed to remove my mask in the field," he stated as if reading my thoughts. I looked around, wondering if he meant this field, or if he meant the battlefield. We were still in Konoha's territory, so I did not see why it would be important, but I did not question it. "I have a job offer for you," he said simply. "Are you interested?"

A job offer, huh? Well, it was true that I was looking for a job, but there was very little I understood about this man and what he was up to. "What sort of job?"

"I cannot discuss details in the field," he replied in that flat tone. "If you are interested you will have to come with me."

I thought about Genma and the others. They would be arriving at the pub soon, and would soon be laughing raucously and making eyes at some of the girls. If I were with them they would tease me about not being able to go home with some of the girls. I would laugh and tell them that my girl was more than any man needed, and I did not envy them their choice to take a different one home each night. My Hinata was waiting for me, and the way she loved me was more passionate than anything their nameless strangers could do for them. Genma would be the only one with any sense. He would laugh and make eye contact but would never take anyone home. He still wanted to be sure he still had 'it,' but he wanted to make love to his wife at the end of the night, not the girls from the bar. Nonetheless, they would enjoy themselves without me, so it could not hurt to go with the weird ANBU.

I nodded to the man, and he led me away. It was quite a trek, and the destination ended up being slightly beyond the Hokage faces. It was perhaps the most nondescript place I had ever seen, and I wondered why it was not a part of the regular ANBU headquarters. I guessed I was about to find out. The whole situation was weird though, and I was beginning to question my judgment for coming up here in the first place.

The entrance to the bunker was shrouded with foliage and covered so well that I was sure I would never be able to find it on my own. As I had been since the man walked out of the shadows, I was impressed. This guy was absolutely terrifying in his deadly efficiency. He ushered me in ahead of him, and shut the opening behind him without making a sound. It took a second for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, and as soon as they did, a light bloomed in the center of a round room. It was small, just large enough to hold the cluster of people assembled there. There were six others standing, which made for eight total with the guy I'd met earlier and me. They all wore the same weird uniform that my guide was wearing, and each of them wore the same featureless black mask. They would have all seemed identical if it weren't for their differing builds and height. I was beginning to feel a little nervous. I was in a room in the middle of nowhere with seven of the deadliest ninja I had ever seen in my entire life. I was awed and apprehensive at the same time. With all seven, they could probably kill me with barely a thought. I was beginning to regret turning down the pub for these guys; it was definitely less pleasant company.

"You all know why we are here. No one is to remove the mask," my guide stated flatly. As one, all six of the others nodded once, slowly. "Naruto," he continued, laying a hand on my shoulder, "find a seat."

I did as instructed, and sat in a gap between two of the others. I did not want to screw up here, so I did not even speak. I had a pretty good feeling that an error was not a good idea around these guys.

My guide, who I took to be their leader, remained standing, though the rest sat down cross legged and straight backed around the room. Their unity was perfect! They made the rest of us ANBU look like genin. The leader crossed his hands behind his back and stood in the final gap, completing the circle. "Naruto, we have a job offer for you." I nodded, ready, or so I thought, for what he had to say. I hoped it was a good job, because I was ready for a good change, and the Hokage job opening was not going to be coming for a while. Tsunade was still plenty young, even for being in her fifties, and Konoha was at peace for the most part. She was not likely to be killed in battle. Not that I wanted her to be anyway of course, but it did mean that my leadership was not needed.

"This is the ANBU Red Ops, the most elite and powerful handful of ninjas in the entire world." Although it was an arrogant statement, I did not hear even a hint of pride or arrogance in the monotone voice. To him, it was merely a statement. I held my breath, my brain wrapped around the subtle difference in our sects; Red versus Black. I had never heard of the Red before and idly wondered what made them so much cooler than us, for that much was obvious. These ninja were the real deal. "You are invited to be part of it. You won't be told what it is we do. You will learn strength, power, stealth, speed, intelligence, and jutsu like you have never seen before and will never see again unless you are a part of it. You will be one of the most highly valued ninja in the entire Leaf Village. It is so prestigious that only one person in the world even knows we exist, and that is the Hokage herself. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I replied. Wow, that sounded pretty tough. No wonder these guys were so scary. My interest was piqued. It sounded like the kind of job I wanted so far. I mean, who would not want to be one of the most powerful and important ninjas in the world? That's why I had always wanted to be Hokage… respect! Therefore, this made sense on my level. I hungered for it.

"I will warn you only this once that this will be the most difficult position you will ever hold. It requires extreme levels of discipline, an ability to follow orders without hesitation and without questioning the orders, and follows the most important part of the Shinobi code to the letter, and that is that you can never show emotion or any sign of weakness while you wear the mask and uniform. Do you understand?"

Again I answered, "Yes." I was not exactly thrilled by these last words, but they seemed reasonable enough. Follow orders, don't question them, it's going to be hard, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounded like a job. I was already supposed to be good at not showing emotion, though I usually did anyway, and no one really complained. I was sure that I would get away with it here too, despite their priggish attitudes.

The fact that he had said this next part without a hint of emotion chilled me: "You are never to speak of the existence of the Red Ops nor wear your uniform unless you are on a mission. No one is to know you are a part of the Red Ops. If you ever speak of Red Ops and we discover this, we will kill you and everyone that you told. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I replied, a little perturbed. ANBU was already a fairly secret organization. I could at least live without talking about this organization as well. That did not mean I relished the idea of talking about my death so lightly, though.

But even that paled in comparison to the gravity of the last statement: "Lastly, once you agree to join Red Ops you will never be allowed to leave it. This position is for the rest of your life, no matter what. If you change your mind and try to leave it, we will kill you. Do you understand?"

I hesitated a moment, then answered without taking the time to think about it. If I thought about it, I would probably fret and appear weak. I could think about it later. "Yes." Then I thought about it. For life? This  _was_  a big decision, especially once it was considered that they were not going to tell me a single detail before I decided. Who the hell were these people?

"Do you have any questions?"

I thought about it. "How long do I have to decide?"

The harsh and toneless voice that answered was already beginning to irritate me. "About fifteen minutes."

 _Yikes_! "And if I decline your offer?"

"You will be drugged and forced to forget everything about meeting me and coming here, and you will never be invited to be Red Ops again."

I thought about it. It was a very heavy decision. On the one hand, I would be the best of the best of the best, above even ANBU Black Ops. No one would ever threaten my family or my village while I breathed, ever, ever again. I did not know yet, of course, how true that would be. No one  _would_  ever threaten the village. We would see to that.

However, accepting a lifelong position with Red Ops probably meant I would never have my shot at becoming Hokage. Was it possible that an ANBU Red Ops was allowed to become Hokage? I doubted it, but maybe. I considered my childhood dream of becoming the leader of the Village. Was it even realistic? Well, maybe. I would probably be chosen for it because I knew Tsunade thought very highly of me, but did I really want it anymore? Protecting Tsunade had given me a visual of the day-to-day Hokage business, and I was not keen on probably about 90% of her job. Day in and day out, the Hokage read papers and mission reports and approved bills and proposals. It looked really lame, actually, until the village was in danger and someone needed an ass kicking.  _Then_ it got cool!

Maybe it was worth giving up for this…

And, of course, you already knew how I would choose. If I turned it down, the rest of the story would be me, on guard duty, making sweet love to my wife when I came home. Not a bad life, it's true, but not one I'd probably share with you either. This situation was far too tempting. I still needed a little extra push, however, and that came next.

"Accept, Uzumaki," said a young female voice from the circle.

The leader shot her what was probably a glare, but unrecognizable because of the mask. "Siariu!" he snapped. She did not flinch or even acknowledge that she had heard, but she did not speak again.

Someone besides the leader had told me in so many words that this was a good decision, and that I should accept. The benefits seemed to outweigh the consequences, and I had a family to think about that I had to be strong for. I thought of my adorable young wife who was eager to keep me happy and delighted at my touch, and I felt sick when I imagined her in danger. I had been very glad when she had begun withdrawing from the battlefield, and I only wanted to protect her and the sons and daughters she was sure to bless me with. I ask you, now, to forgive me for all the errors I was about to make, for I was about to ruin everything I had with the best intentions at heart. Everything.

I accepted.


	3. The Perfect Cup of Tea

As I walked home that evening, I began to feel better about my decision. I was thinking of all the good I would be able to do with the power I was about to possess, although I would never be able to tell anyone about it. I was not going to be made a full member of the Red Ops for a week. It seemed a short time for me, but I was assured it would be more than enough time. They were going to work me hard, I imagined. I was beginning to get excited, and then suddenly I had a disparaging thought. What about Genma and the other ANBU? I felt bad for making an on-the-fly decision to leave the team, and I'd also abandoned them earlier in the night. They were going to be unhappy with me. I would have to make it up to him and the squad somehow. Maybe if I threw a going away party... thing? Well, it would not really be a going away party, but it would kind of be a sendoff. I made a mental note to talk to Hinata about it later.

I wondered what time it was, and figured that it must be past midnight by now. I hoped Hinata was not worried about me as I pushed the door open to the house. She was curled up in a chair by the window, reading, but as soon as she heard the door open, she folded the page down and shut the book, hurrying toward me. She threw her arms around my neck, and I wrapped my arms around her willowy back. "I missed you," she admitted, kissing me.

"I missed you, too. Sorry I was late coming home. It's been a long day." I kissed her, reveling in the sensation of our lips meeting, letting the flutters of love wash over me that only she could make me feel. I never wanted anything to happen to her. It made me glad that I had decided to join something that would make me more able to keep her and our future children safe. She smiled against my lips, and with a measure of regret I pulled away. "I have something to tell you," I said quietly, thumbing her jawline and staring into her eyes.

"Should I make some tea?" she asked me, cocking her head slightly to one side.

"Sure," I said happily. We went into the kitchen, and I relaxed at the table while she made us both a pot of tea. She was so perfect to me, ever sweet and loving. She sought to be submissive and I let her because she loved to please me. In return, I did as much as I could to make her comfortable without making it seem the other way around. She noticed, though. In public, I was the overbearing one and she merely adhered herself to my side, smiling for the world to show that we were a happy couple. At home, though, she fussed over me to try to make me feel special. At night, I let her know just how special she was to me. The sounds we made and the bliss we felt in bed were enough to let us know how devoted we were to each other.

She finished steeping the tea leaves and removed them from the pot to keep it from getting too strong. Then, she placed the pot between us and set two cups on the table. After filling both, she added honey to mine and pushed it toward me, then settled into a chair with hers, unsweetened. She even made a perfect cup of tea. How lucky was I? "Alright, love," she said to me. "I'm listening." She smiled gently and began to sip her tea.

"Well," I began with a sigh, and then took a sip of my tea. "Hey, this is great," I told her with a wink. She nodded her thanks but said nothing, knowing that if she did she would have to wait for longer to hear the news. She did know me, and very well. "Well," I continued, mildly bummed that I would not get to keep her waiting any longer. "I got that new job I was hoping for today." I smiled, watching her reaction to my news.

Her eyes widened slightly. "So fast? You just put in the request yesterday." She frowned.

"Well, yes," I replied hesitantly. "But there was a captain in ANBU that apparently has been waiting for me to look higher. He said he has been watching for my name since I joined ANBU and leaped at the request." I had not told you this yet, but it was true. For whatever reason, they really did want me. She smiled. "So he came to me today and asked if I wanted a new position. After discussing the details-" that was sort of a lie "-I accepted. I start tomorrow." I grinned.

"That's wonderful, Naruto! You deserve it, and I'm proud." Her joy at the news was genuine. How lovely it was to have a woman that was glad for my own successes. We each took a sip of the tea, enjoying the quiet moment. "So, what are the details of the new job?"

I shook my head ruefully. "Come on, Hinata, you know I can't say. It's ANBU business." I tried my best grin at her, and as usual, it worked like a charm.

She smiled and flushed with embarrassment. "Of course. I knew better than to ask. Sorry, Naruto."

I let out the breath I had been holding. This was going to be tough. I hated keeping secrets from Hinata, even secrets about work. "Hey, no problem. Enough about  _my_  boring life. How was your day? The new job going alright?"

She smiled at me, trying rather unsuccessfully to dim the pride she obviously felt at her new position. "It was fine. It's kind of nice that only Sakura, Shizune, and Tsunade are ranked above me and the other wing managers. I don't have to listen to anyone else trying to tell me my methods are all wrong. I learned my methods from Sakura, and they're too new for the old medics to fully understand. They always tell me I am doing it wrong, but I've just been doing it better." She shrugged. For her, this was not about arrogance, it was a simple fact. She was a very good medic, and some of the senior medics were annoyed that the newer medics knew more than they did. Positions had been strained, and probably still would be now that the newer medics were being put in charge. I didn't say anything. I knew she would find out eventually. "So really what it means is I can focus on my work now, and not have to listen to people complain about it."

"That's good," I said, though really I had other things on my mind. Getting her to talk about her day was really an excuse for my eyes to rove all over her body and visualize all the naughty things I wanted to do to her while she talked and was distracted from my dirty mind. She was sipping tea again, though, so I needed to move the conversation. "Anything new happen today, other than that?"

Her eyes raised upwards, trying to think, and I imagined licking that perfect, exposed neck of hers. "Well, Neji came by to talk to me today. The Hyuugas are finding it hard to ignore his skills and are disabling the curse marks. There won't be a branch and head family anymore. When my father retires, Neji has offered to take over as the leader of the clan so I don't have to. Normally that would mean my sister would be next in line, but because it was me stepping down it was my decision, and I just know that Neji is the best choice. I never wanted to be the head of the family anyway, and he knew that. Now I can focus at the hospital and not worry about Hyuuga pride."

"That's good," I murmured a little belatedly. I set the teacup down, and watched her intently.

She recognized the look, and knew now what I had been doing. She smirked. "What are you looking at?" she asked, setting her own cup down.

"Hm? Me?" I attempted to look innocent, but as usual, it failed. She nodded, her smile widening, recognizing that I was in play mode. "I'm looking at the most beautiful woman in the world and thinking about how much I want to… well… you know." I winked at her.

She laughed quietly, her eyes narrowing as her cheeks rose with a broad grin. "No, I'm afraid I don't know," she said as seriously as she could manage, contorting her face into the most adorable, irresistible innocent pout I had ever seen.

"Oh, no? Hm, well, I don't know how to describe it really," I said, scratching my chin and looking up toward the ceiling. "I supposed I could… act it out. Charades?" Keeping my chin turned upward, I slid my gaze back to her. She had placed her elbows on the table, clasping her hands together and resting her cheek upon them. I was blown away by how preciously beautiful she was.

"I'm afraid you are going to have to," she feigned morosely. "I can't even begin to imagine what you mean." She wrinkled her nose in amusement, and I pretty much lost myself in those innocent eyes.

"Alright, then, I will," I growled, crossing the space between us and lifting her into my arms. She laughed at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and gazing up at me through those long lashes. I carried her reverently to the bed, as if the mattress was an altar to the heavens and I was returning a borrowed goddess. Her legs instinctively clasped together and bent as she propped herself up on one elbow upon the mattress, the perfect curves of her slender body adding to the celestial image. Her hair fell in a waterfall around her face, and I felt myself unable to breathe for a moment. I made a particular gesture from the game of charades.

"Sounds like?" she asked, amused, right on cue.

I removed my shirt and joined her there, hovering over her body with my own as she turned onto her back. The look between us was hot and pure, and I knew that the desire naked in her eyes was reflected in my own. She placed her hands upon my abs and drew them upward, gliding her touch across my skin. I hummed in pleasure. Her hands were warm, but the air was cool, and I shivered as I shut my eyes. When I opened them again, she had a look on her face that told me she was trying to make a memory of us like this, a priceless visage of love and affection that I, too, would never forget. "I think I know the answer… shall I tell you?"

I shook my head slowly. "I'm afraid you're going to need to act it out. I have a very thick skull."

I loved her, she loved me… it was an anomaly I would never truly figure out, but there it was. Words would never describe how much she meant to me, and that night, as many other nights—and some mornings—I showed her exactly how I felt. And just as she had so many times, she gasped out my name and gripped the muscles in my back as I pushed her over the edge of desire. It never got old, she was right. As soon as we had finished and lay panting amidst sweaty sheets chuckling at each other for the fervent way we had held each other, I already wanted her again.

As she lay, watching me watching her, she traced an adventurous fingertip along the lines of my body. It almost tickled, but felt really nice. She didn't mean to do it to turn me on; she just, like me, admired the body of her lover and could not help touching. It did though—turn me on, I mean—and though I tried to ignore it because I knew it was late, she was tired, and she did work tomorrow, I could not help myself. Within a few minutes I was ready for her, and to her slight surprise, I made love to her once again, with even more energy than it seemed I had had before.

When I had finally spent my last within her, I lay alongside her, facing her. She turned to her side and curled into a ball, trembling from that last orgasm, thoroughly worn out and pleased. "Really?" she whispered, laughing with joy. "We've not gone twice in one night in a while."

I panted for a few more moments. "Wow," I chuckled to myself, amazed. "Yeah, I know," I said to her. "But you're just so darned cute sometimes." I tapped the tip of her nose with one finger.

She fell asleep as I watched her. Tonight, like most nights I was awake enough to watch her fall asleep, I was overcome with the feelings of love like I had never known before. No one in the world cared about me as much as this woman. Not Iruka, or the Third, or Kakashi, or any of my friends. I knew my parents had loved me, but they were no longer here to show it. No, no one loved me like my Hinata did.

And no one ever would... I'd make certain of that.


	4. Rough Start

I awoke with a blade at my throat, pressed so tightly I could not even make a sound, but not tightly enough to draw blood. I opened my eyes and stared directly into a black mask. "Lesson one," a voice whispered. It was not the same man that had invited me to the Red Ops, but the voice was distinctly male. "Never sleep fully. You will never again sleep soundly. You will learn this or you will die tomorrow."

What? How the hell was I supposed to work without sleep? I glared at the man looking down at me, but he did not seem perturbed. I hoped he could not see me in the dark. He let me up. I glanced at the clock blearily. 4:03 a.m. That troubled me. It meant I had only fallen asleep about an hour ago. Had he been here the whole time, watching? He waved a hand telling me to come, and we left through the window where he had come from. He didn't make a sound, but my bare foot caused the floor boards to creak, which made Hinata shift in her slumber and mumble my name. I longed to go back to her, but my comrade was dragging me away. He didn't even allow me to dress, and I left in my boxers, though I don't remember putting them back on the night before.

When we were on the balcony, he stood before me, straight backed as they all were, and handed me a folded set of clothes. I understood this to be my uniform, and I put it on. It felt very comfortable, and at the time I relished the feel of it upon my skin. Soon I would learn to hate it almost as much as I would hate myself. After I had clothed myself and placed the mask over my face, my companion spoke again. "You can't sleep ever again."

"Yeah, I heard you."

"It's 'yes, I understand,'" he snapped. How he managed to 'snap' without any emotion still boggles my mind, but that's what he did.

"Yes, I understand," I grated, biting back a yawn.

"You can't sleep because someone can kill you while you sleep. You may relax your body and rest your muscles but your eyes must never remain closed for more than the time required to blink. You will train your body to do this. As soon as your week is up if I ever need to wake you up again I will slit your throat where you lay." It was an appallingly cold thing to say, but he wasn't kidding. Nope, there was no humor at all to these guys.

"I understand," I repeated, irritated at the rude awakening.

"Come, we are going to the practice field," he told me, and began the journey.

Practice fields were something I knew, and I felt relaxed that I would at least have some idea of what was coming. However, he did not lead me to my definition of a practice field. He led me to the dead center of an awful copse of thick trees. I could barely see through them let alone move through them. The forest floor was littered with leaves. How was I supposed to remain quiet and efficient in this? I refrained from asking him about it, though, and waited for what was next. ANBU training had taught me to be alert, yet it still came as a surprise when out of nowhere, a figure was in front of me, striking a killing blow toward my neck.

Panic coursed through my nerves. I'd not yet been given ninja tools! It was all I could do to dodge. Just as I dodged the first, another appeared out of nowhere like a flash, again striking for a killing blow. This was insanity! I could hardly dodge and could not even think of fighting back, and I was already exhausted from the night before with Hinata. This was off to a very bad start.

Finally, the one who had led me here backhanded me across the side of my face, bringing me to my knees. "This is not Black Ops," he stated in that familiar flat tone. "This is Red Ops. Your weakness will not be tolerated."

"How do you expect me to fight back without weapons?" I retorted angrily, panting with exhaustion. The lack of sleep was already taking its toll.

"You will not always have weapons, and so you must fight without them." A simple answer for a shitty problem, but he was right enough for me to-grudgingly-accept it.

"I've got a bunch of people trying to kill me right now, and I've hardly gotten any sleep!" I snapped back, though I already hated how whiny I was sounding. It was true though. I'd not expected to be off to such a rough start, but it made a sick sort of sense. They had said I only needed a week to get ready.

I could not read his expression through the mask, but his simplistic answers pissed me off. "You did not get enough sleep because you  _chose_ to prolong your evening. That is your problem. You are Red Ops, and you will always have people trying to kill you. No one is to be trusted except another Red Ops. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I snarled. So he had been watching, the sick bastard.

"Good. Go forty paces to the north. Make not one sound." He disappeared.

It was easier said than done of course. As I had said before, the forest floor was coated in crunchy leaves. I tried as best I could, but it was impossible to be quiet. Every time I slipped up and stepped noisily, a Red Ops member assaulted me from the darkness. Without ninja tools I was forced to use taijutsu to stave off the attacks. They were like deadly shadows, attacking without warning for a single strike, then melding into the night. Before I got to the destination I'd been ordered to, I was tired and bleeding and quivering from muscle exhaustion. I was aggravated at the strenuous exercise and by how quickly they assumed I could progress. I'd pushed myself plenty of times, but what they required of me was inhuman.

When I arrived in a clearing forty paces to the north, I was met by the woman who had told me to accept. "Delicate chakra control at the base of your feet will coax the leaves to be silent as you walk upon them. Think of it as a cushion of chakra at the base of your feet. If it is soft enough, nothing will ever be crushed by your feet. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I replied. There was something about this woman that I actually liked, at least, a lot better than the others I had 'met' so far.

"Good. Go forty paces to the south," she replied, and disappeared.

These people were infuriating. Nonetheless, I was here now and there was no going back. I gathered chakra to the base of my feet, but my control had never been 'delicate,' and I struggled. I was quieter, but not silent. Though I was assaulted fewer times on the return journey, I hardly emerged unscathed.

I was met by the leader. "Your chakra control leaves much to be desired. Don't disappoint us. Don't disappoint your village. Forty paces north." Again, he disappeared.

I repeated the same damned exercise until I was able to move silently, and by the end of it I already wanted to quit. I was tired, I was annoyed, and I missed Hinata. These Red Ops members were relentless and I hated every single one. By the time I mastered the silent technique, the sun was high in the sky. Although I had thought the light would make my assailants easier to see, this was not the case. I was getting very tired, and they knew it. They attacked with more force as I attacked with less, until finally, I collapsed.

Instantly, all seven were there, standing straight and staring down at me. Though I could not see their faces I could tell that they were disappointed. "We should kill him," said one that had not yet spoken.

One of them shook his head, and I realized it was the leader when he spoke. "His time is not up. He is weak, but he will make it." He turned his attention to me, crouching down before me and bringing his face to my level. "You may take a break now. Be advised, this will be the only one you will ever be allowed. You will start training when we claim you, and end when we are finished. You will get enough rest or you will train exhausted. There must be no weaknesses in the Red Ops. Weakness can be exploited, and your foolishness can kill us all." I glared up at him through my mask, hating everything about him. "You must never let your guard down. One of us will always be watching you. If you let your guard down, we will kill you."

I shook my head, reaching a breaking point. "You know, I thought I was invited to this to become stronger. To me it seems like you are just looking for an excuse to kill me." I had expected a laugh, or some form of amusement, perhaps even a modicum of disappointment.

Instead, one of them lifted me up by the collar and backhanded me. "Maybe we are," he said calmly, belying the force with which I had been struck. "But it's in your best interest not to let that happen."

The leader resumed speaking, ignoring what was going on. "Never let your guard down. Never sleep. Don't ever get tired. If you have problems keeping to our rules, figure it out. If you are weak you will die."

"Yeah, yeah," I said. Something was really,  _really_  wrong with these people.

The one that had dropped me slapped me again. " _Yes_ ," he emphasized, without even a hint of anger. "Learn to control your emotions."

"Yes," I said again. I really just wanted to go home. This was more than I could take in one day. I wanted to snuggle into the arms of Hinata and never let go.

"Five minutes," the leader told me, "and then one on one combat. After that, you are free for the rest of the day. Make sure to get more rest tomorrow, and don't disappoint me again."

"You said I can't sleep," I pointed out. My voice shook with aggravation.

"Sleep is not rest," he countered. "Control your emotions."

When I was finally allowed to go home, I instead decided to collapse onto the ground. They all left me there, going to wherever it was that creepy Red Ops personnel went to at the end of the day. They hardly seemed human, and it made me wonder if they had any families or were just born freakishly weird. After I rested on the grass for about half an hour and my eyelids started to close, I rubbed at them and stood up. I at least wanted to make it home before I passed out.

I opened the door to an empty house. I guessed that my Hinata was still at work, and unexpectedly, it made me really depressed. I wanted her to be there for me and tell me about her day. Instead, I collapsed on the bed face down and allowed a few tears to fall before dozing off. I didn't care if I was not supposed to fall asleep. Right now it was the only thing I wanted.

I woke up to firm yet gentle hands pressing into my back and groaned with appreciation. It earned me a soft chuckle, and my heart soared. _She was home!_  I smiled into my pillow and allowed relief to flood my body as she kneaded tense knots out of my shoulders. When she started placing small, wet kisses along my spine, my heart fell. I didn't have the energy to give her what she wanted and I would need my strength for tomorrow. I sighed, even more depressed than I had been before she had come home, and I rolled over, cutting off access to my back.

The confused look she gave me broke my heart. "Is everything all right?" she asked innocently.

"No," I replied, which elicited an immediate expression of distress. "Bad day at work."

Her gaze softened, and she let her hands fall to her sides. "Tell me?" she asked.

I shook my head gently as I sat up. I rested my elbows on my knees and looked down at the mattress. "They work me really hard, harder than ever before. They expect so much and give so little. I'm exhausted, my muscles hurt, and I've been told I can't sleep. I started training today at 4 a.m." They were details I'd not get into trouble for saying, I was sure, but told her enough about my ordeal today.

Her eyes widened. "That's horrible!" she cried. "Maybe you should rethink the job," she offered with genuine concern so sweet that it made my heart rise to my throat. "I know we could use the extra money and all, but I can't stand to see you miserable. I can pick up some extra hours…" I could not tell her they would kill me if I chose to rescind my membership, so I lied.

"No, I'm determined to make this work. It's going to be a good job once I get used to it, and the pay is good. It will be okay," I assured her, hardly able to convince myself. This had been a bad idea. I knew it already, and there was nothing I could do about it; I could not even tell my wife, my best friend. "It was just one bad day. I'll adjust."

"Are you sure?" she asked me nervously.

I nodded. "Hey, that reminds me," I began, thinking of Genma and the Black Ops. "I was thinking of Genma and the team I left behind during this promotion. We ought to throw a party so I can thank him for what he has done for me."

Her radiant smile was enough to make any man happy. "That's a good idea. When were you thinking?"

I shrugged. "I'm done training at the end of the week. How about Saturday?"

She nodded. "Alright. I'll invite your friends and your team. We can keep it small though."

I nodded, grateful for such a compassionate lover. "Hinata…" I began with regret. She looked at me, worried all over again. This was going to be a rough job for my sweet and peace-loving wife. "About tonight, I don't know if I can…"

"Naruto," she cooed. "If you think I need you to make love to me every night to show that you care, you don't. I know how it is you feel. You need your rest, and I understand. You can make it up to me tomorrow," she finished with a grin, and kissed me at my temple. "Okay?"

"No, it's not okay," I muttered. "But thanks, anyway." I wriggled under the covers and pulled her close when she did the same. My angel… so sweet and understanding. How would I ever live without her?

I watched her fall asleep as I struggled to figure out how to rest without sleep. I slowed the rhythm of my heart and breathing, shut my eyes and slowed my body down. I thought I had the hang of it, but I didn't, and I fell asleep.

I'd failed.


	5. In Hate

I woke up with a kunai at my throat again, which in case you've never woken up this way, is extremely infuriating. Despite this, I was determined to do well today, so I shoved the feeling aside. Then, I shoved the kunai aside, grabbed the Red Ops by the back of his collar and the seat of his pants and flung him out the window. I dressed in the uniform and leaped out the window, landing next to him. He had not hit the ground as I had intended, of course. He had turned his fall into a roll that looked deliberate and was now crouched upon the earth—all without making a sound.

"That's better," the female Red Ops told me. I was not at all disturbed that I had thrown a woman out of my window and not a man, of course.

"I don't want strange women in my room," I replied coldly, surprising myself. "I'm a married man."

To my surprise, she laughed tonelessly. Perhaps she was the newest member? She definitely seemed to be the most insubordinate. "If you say so, Uzumaki. Try to keep me out next time, then."

"Do you guys always wear those masks?" I asked, donning my own.

"You are not a full Red Ops," she replied. "If you saw our faces you would need to die. Also, I am going to have to order you not to don your mask in public, and to keep your uniform well hidden. It is not known that the Red Ops exists to any save the Hokage. Our existence is secret and must stay that way."

"And still I don't know why, other than you are all complete jerks," I replied.

She didn't laugh this time. "Be grateful you don't know yet, Uzumaki. You will know soon enough." Her voice sounded hollow, almost haunted.

I was not convinced, but I did agree that I did not care what they did right now. I wanted to make it through the week and get on with my party. I had it ingrained in my mind that Red Ops was not going to be the job I had hoped, but because it was now my only choice, I would just view it as a job and do as I was told. It was time to man up to my hastily made and irresponsible decision. To my surprise, I was led back to base.

To my even greater surprise, all seven members of Red Ops were also there, and so was the Hokage. She was dressed plainly, and I imagined that she probably had to sneak out here unnoticed. I didn't think she recognized me with the mask on, but I was not instructed to take it off and so I left it on. All Red Ops were standing, stiff-backed, hands crossed behind their backs, postures at ease. They were killing machines, a hairsbreadth away from snapping and killing anyone that needed killing.

The Hokage was seated, her legs and arms crossed, her face somber and bent downward. Apparently, she was here to meet the new recruit. I could tell she was uncomfortable, and I knew instinctively it was not because of how she was sitting. I understood; she was just as terrified of them as I was. "Doku," she said, addressing the leader. It was the first I had heard his name, though I could not tell if Doku was angry that his name had been said. It was true, however, that sometimes ANBU were given false names. Did an organization like Red Ops fear that their real names were found out? My guess was no. The leader turned his head toward her, the only indication that he had heard. "Is this the new Red Ops?"

"Yes, this is he."

Her eyes roamed over my body. When I was younger I would have leered back, perhaps said something crude, but the times had changed me. I stood still as she appraised my physique, then bade me turn around. I obeyed, turning a slow circle. "Not bad," she admitted, nodding. To me, though, she looked like she had a sour taste in her mouth. I got the impression she did not much like the Red Ops, and I felt as if I agreed with her despite being a part of it... perhaps more because I was a part of it. "How long have you had him?" she asked as if I was not standing right there and was nothing but a tool. Perhaps to her I was.

"Today is his second day," Doku replied evenly. I wanted to shout that I was standing right here, but I was no longer so naïve.

"And you believe he will survive training?"

 _Survive_ training? Did people usually die during training? It galled me at how nonchalantly people spoke of death. I really was beginning to think everyone wanted me dead. Everyone except Hinata.

"It's hard to say, Lady Hokage, but yes, I think he may survive."

"Good. Now that you have eight Red Ops you have the two full teams you have requested. I'm cutting down the time he has to complete training to five days. I have something demanding your immediate attention and I want him ready by Thursday. If he is unable to complete training or dies during the mission you have my permission to select another eighth member."

I was surprised at how cool her demeanor was. She was usually quite irritable, and often showed a lot of concern for the well being of others. This unit was clearly not her favorite and was making her very bitter. I could not really blame her though. I already hated it and I was a part of it. I wondered if it was normal to hate the Red Ops, then decided that it must be. Who in their right mind would aspire to such an asinine position in the community?

Doku removed his mask, and then one by one the others did the same. I looked upon the mortal faces of the otherwise immortal Red Ops. I looked upon the faces of the emotionless, coldhearted killers who had become my new team. One by one, I memorized their features. The only ones I shall really tell you about are Doku, Siariu, and Miyugo. Doku, the leader, had a permanent dark tan complexion and deep lines in his face. Those lines were each little lies, falsifying his age. He could not have been more than thirty and looked to be over forty. I would find out what made them seem so old by the end of the week. He kept his head shaved so that no one would be able to get a grip on his hair, but I would learn that was a personal preference and not required by the unit. Siariu was one of two women on the team, and the one that had been speaking to me. The other was not unable to speak, she just never really did. Siariu had hair so light it was almost white, and pale blue eyes. She was gorgeous, if I am going to be honest, but that face should have been adorned with smiles. It didn't; at least, it didn't unless she was rending flesh apart, I would find out later. Miyugo was a large man barely older than me. His hair was black, and he had a large scar on either corner of his mouth. It gave the illusion that he was smiling, but he never smiled. He had been the one who had slapped me for my emotional problems the day before.

While I was memorizing their faces, I was instructed to remove my mask, so I did. I met the eyes of the woman I had protected as a Black Ops and watched the color drain from her face. This was the moment my self-hatred truly began. She was afraid. No, not afraid, absolutely terrified. I could see her ample chest begin heaving with panicked breaths as she breathed, "Doku, what have you done?"

"As instructed, Lady Hokage, I chose the most qualified member of ANBU Black Ops for induction into ANBU Red Ops and have begun preparations to make him ready for Red Ops classified missions. With your blessing, Lady Hokage, I have chosen Naruto Uzumaki." If that toneless voice could have managed, I would have said that the man was smug.

I could not begin to describe the stress that I caused to the Hokage that day. I knew how much she cared about me, and how much she had wanted me to be Hokage when she was finished. The look evident in her features made me absolutely despise my very being, and this was only the beginning. I had betrayed her. I had given up my dream to become Hokage to become one of these people before her. It was a dream that she had endorsed and encouraged, and I knew I had had her full backing to do so. In my impatience to start a family with Hinata I had jumped the gun, because I knew she was not looking to retire any time soon. I had been selfish. And now, the woman before me who had once believed in me so fervently when few were able to give me any respect was afraid of me. And I knew why: there was no turning back from here. I was Red Ops now and forever, and would never get to be Hokage. What was worse was that she knew everything I didn't know yet, and in return, this scared the hell out of  _me_. What about this group caused the fear in her eyes? What caused the sour revulsion she felt by being in this room? She was going to hate me soon, very soon, and  _I_ didn't know why… but  _she_  did.

I swallowed the bile that was rising in my throat and inclined my head with respect. I was still me for the moment and I owed her the respect that any Shinobi owed their kage. "Lady Hokage," I said hoarsely.

A single tear trickled from each hazel eye, but she quickly wiped them away. "Naruto Uzumaki," she choked. I could tell by the sorrow deep in her eyes that she would want to talk to me later, or that perhaps she knew there was no use, I could not really be sure. The Red Ops gathered in the room seemed to not be paying attention, and if they were they were coldhearted about it. Clearly Doku had made his choice and clearly he knew it was a bastard move.

I was really starting to feel like the biggest fool in the entire world. The Hokage hurriedly made her leave, having said her piece. We were to be given a mission on Thursday whether I was ready for it or not. This meant I had two less days to suffer through their rigorous training methods or else. Great. Wonderful!

When she had made her exit, another of the Red Ops had a task for me. A rather chiseled looking fellow by the name of Gadamaru instructed me to do some reading and thrust a couple of books into my hands. "Read these."

"Yes, I understand," I replied by rote.

They ushered me out the door, and I began the trip home alone. I was intercepted by Tsunade who, as I had suspected, wanted to talk to me. She hurried me into a dark alcove in the Leaf Village gardens, hoping to avoid the eyes of my comrades. Her eyes were fearful and nervous as she gripped both of my shoulders. "Naruto, what have you done!" she cried, loosing all the tears she had held back in the headquarters of Red Ops. I stared back but said nothing; there was nothing to say. I was already ashamed and she was already terrified, and there was no going back now. The tears flowed freely from her amber eyes and she bowed her head, staring at nothing. Both of us knew there was nothing that could be done, and weeping about it now would solve nothing. "Never, in all my years would I have guessed you would do something so foolish, Naruto. You don't have any idea what you have signed up for, you hear me? None!"

"They've told me nothing and gave me little choice," I replied, proud of how calm I sounded. "I was promised the power to protect my family and high prestige. The benefits outweighed the cost, at the time." I hesitated, watching her continue to sob. "You're the Hokage… you already know about Red Ops so I am not required to maintain silence. Tell me what I am in for?"

I felt sick as I saw her face twist into a bitter mask of hopelessness. Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke. "Red Ops is only a slightly younger branch of the ANBU than Black Ops. The Black Ops, as you know, are the elite. They act within the parameters of law to assassinate enemy ninja, protect the Leaf, and take on our most dangerous missions. The Red Ops are above the law, and although they obey my commands they are not required to follow the laws of the Leaf Village. They may kill whomever they wish without reason so long as they believe it is in the best interest of the village. They take the missions I don't dare give to anyone else because they are, in essence, suicide missions or missions no one could take. They are killing machines without emotion, honed into nearly invincible warriors without human limits of strengths. They are super-ninja. They can kill anyone, even me, single handed, unarmed, and in total darkness, silently. They are fearless, loveless, selfless tools of war, and I don't call on them except in the most extreme cases." She rubbed her arms as if trying to warm herself. "They make people  _disappear_."

"The Black Ops were called the Black Ops to indicate the "dark side"* of the ninja elite, taking the dirtiest missions we had to offer. The Red Ops are so brutal that Konoha does not, _cannot_  know they exist. They are called the Red Ops… because they are meant only for bloodshed. Hokage journals often write their more accurate pseudonym… The ANBU Blood Ops.

"Their heartlessness knows no bounds. None that are perceived a threat are given mercy. The Red Ops have committed genocide before. Red Ops have killed men, women, children, the elderly, the sick, governmental agents, budding genin… anyone is fair game, and if we wanted to disband them it would mean war with the rest of the Shinobi, and these ninja cannot be defeated without a large number of casualties."

My eyes widened. I felt sick. How had I ended up in this mess? I had never been a ninja to seek bloodshed! Hell, most of the time I was trying to save people. I shook my head in disbelief, trying to shake it away, hoping beyond hope it was a bad dream. I felt like I had signed the death warrants of a hundred innocent children. What made me even more ill was that back at home was the most perfect, compassionate woman in the universe, and she adored me. I dropped my masked face to my hands. This could not be happening.

"Naruto, I'm sorry… if I had known they had chosen you, I would never have shortened the training period, but this Red Ops mission needs to be done on Thursday or we will lose the target."

"Not much we can do about it now, Lady Hokage. I will just have to make the best of it." I pulled away and made as if to leave, fully in hate with myself.

She grabbed my shoulders again and forced me to look at her face. "Look at me Naruto. Take off the mask."

"My duty requires me to wear the mask in public," I replied as calmly as I could, loathing the sound of my own voice.

Her eyes welled up with tears again. "Naruto, this will destroy you. I can't watch this happen to you. Not you…"

I bit my lip within the confines of my mask, astonished at how far destroyed I already was as I replied, "Then look the other direction," and left her there, weeping in the shade of the alcove.

Feeling dejected myself, I walked home with the books and began reading. I placed a slip cover over the original covers. It really had not been necessary; the books were plain and unadorned, without so much as a title to give away the content. One of them was the history of the Red Ops. Another detailed previous missions carried out by the Red Ops. The last was a technique handbook, scaffolding the rules of the squadrons and many of the tricks that they used. I read them all night, feeling my trepidation grow, thinking all the while how big an idiot I was and worrying about the future.

I could not shake two very important images from my mind: the peaceful, serene face of my beloved Hinata, and the terrified, tear-stained visage of the most powerful Hokage the Leaf had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I have no idea if this is true or not, but it's my story so there. :P
> 
> You can thank larryjc for the quick update. :) He was getting a little antsy, so I threw down. ^_^ Don't get used to it!


	6. Urgency

I read the horrid book from cover to cover. One of my teachers had told me to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. The Red Ops were not my friends, and I would need to know as much about them as possible to understand and survive amongst them. I felt like a fugitive, trying to survive behind enemy lines.

"Third Day of February, Year Two of the Fifth Hokage's Tenure

Mission: Destroy Sadako Village

Doku, Siariu, Kiriki, and Chadon made up Squad One. Miyugo, Gadamaru, Miru, and Liudai made up Squad Two.

Squad One infiltrated the village of Sadako. Doku secured the east gate. Siariu secured the north gate. Kiriki secured the west gate. Chadon secured the south gate.

Doku killed a male gatekeeper, approximately thirty years of age, five feet nine inches, green eyes, perhaps 170 pounds with graying brown hair, shut the gate, barred it with a nearby wagon, and remained to guard the gate. He slayed two women and a small child as they insisted they needed to exit the village to work in the field. The women were both in their mid thirties. One was blonde with brown eyes, approximately five feet one inch and 120 pounds. The other was also blonde with blue eyes, approximately five feet three inches and 135 pounds. It is believed they may have been sisters. The child was perhaps seven years old, female, two feet ten inches and 55 pounds with light brown hair and green eyes.

Siariu killed three men attempting to protect the north gate. One was perhaps fifty years old, grey hair and blue eyes, about six feet three inches and 190 pounds. Another was about twenty-two years old, around five feet eleven inches with blonde hair and blue eyes, 155 pounds. The third was about sixteen years old, perhaps five feet six inches tall and 120 pounds, with black hair and black eyes…"

I rubbed my eyes, reading the death tolls. This mission had taken place during a time when I was still a young man, on the road with Jiraiya the pervy sage and learning how to control the demon raging within my body. The content of this mission was absolutely barbaric. The long and short of it was that the Red Ops had conquered a small village and torn it to pieces. I will summarize the mission for you in story form so that you may understand.

Doku, Siariu, Kiriki, and Chadon, Squad One, infiltrated Sadako Village. Each took up a position at one of the four gates of the village's high barricade, meant to keep out common brigands and raiders. The walls were tall, sharpened wooden poles approximately fifty feet high. Each gate was secured by killing the gatekeepers swiftly with swords or fatal jutsu, and the gates were barricaded and guarded. Squad One kept the gates shut during the rest of the mission. Their role seemed minimalist, but it was vitally important to the chaos that was soon to come.

Miyugo, Gadamaru, Miru, and Liudai, Squad Two, did the bulk of the killing. Liudai created a barrier jutsu over the entire village and walls for a couple of reasons: it kept everyone from escaping and kept the screams locked within the village itself. It was a sound proof force field that could not be breached unless Liudai himself was killed or released the jutsu. With the gates secured, Squad Two set about destroying the entire village. Beginning at each gate, the four cut their way through people indiscriminate of age, social status, or fighting ability. Without so much as a grimace, they killed every last villager in Sadako Village. There were detailed accounts of each and every murder, mapped out in excruciating detail for any that cared to look among the bodies for something they recognized.

The weapon of choice had been the sword, separating limbs and heads from bodies incapable of fighting back. This had not been a village of warriors and had a bare handful of battle-ready men and women in the form of a visiting squadron from  _Konoha_  itself. The Red Ops did not even hesitate at slaying the group of jonin from Konoha, a random assortment of men and women who had been practically married to fieldwork and almost never made it back to their home village. It had been their report that had led to the destruction of Sadako village, though I didn't think they ever expected what their report brought about and wondered idly at their last thoughts as the steel arced through the air toward their soft necks.

Even the jonin had apparently not stood a chance against the Red Ops. They had been far from the fighting for a long while and had become rusty in their technique.

Systematically, Squad Two slaughtered every last man, woman, and child in Sadako Village. When each had breathed their last breath—and if their mouth was still connected to their lungs—both squads painstakingly documented the features of each villager slain. There were blood smudges in the book itself from carelessly cleaned hands. When the villagers had been immortalized by pen, the village was immortalized by blood. Squad One stripped the bodies and made a single cut in each from groin to septum, dragging the entrails from each and allowing them to trail downward. Squad Two hung these bodies from the walls facing outside. The walls of the village were bathed in blood and decorated with the pitiful messy remains of its inhabitants.

When the despicable deed was done, Liudai altered the barrier to guard the wall from the inner village, and the village was set ablaze. When it had smoldered into barely a black smear on the face of the green countryside, Liudai released the jutsu, and the Red Ops calmly left the scene.

So why had this slaughter happened in the first place? What was the threat imposed by Sadako Village?

A report by the jounin in command sent to Tsunade's desk had rumored—rumored!—that Sasuke and Orochimaru, as well as a few of Orochimaru's closest henchmen, were hiding out in disguise in Sadako Village. The jonin squad leader had been absolutely sure he had seen Sasuke walking about the streets.

_"The third was about sixteen years old, perhaps five feet six inches tall and 120 pounds, with black hair and black eyes…"_

And it had not even been the real Sasuke. I'd run into him a year or so later. I chucked the book across the room in disgust just as Hinata walked through the door. Her eyes widened as she heard the crash. "Naruto, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Hinata," I called, sounding rougher than I intended to and receiving a meek "okay…" in response. I hated that I could not tell her. I hated that I could not turn back the hands of time to fix the egregious mistake I had made. I hated everything about the sticky situation that I was in and I could find no way out of it. Hinata came into the living room and kissed my brow, then shut herself into our bedroom and stayed there. I retrieved the awful book and finished it, then hid the books with my treacherous raiment and crawled into the covers next to Hinata.

I stared at her back, wanting to touch her hair and assure myself she was there for me. I didn't even feel like I deserved her anymore. I felt like I should not be allowed to touch her. I could not bring myself to reach out and so much as stroke her hair. I stared at her as if she was an object in a museum that I would never be able to hold in my hands. My eyes felt hot, and I realized with a start that now I had tears forming. I swallowed hard, feeling guilty at what I had done for our once-bright future.

"Naruto," Hinata whispered from the other side of the bed, voice laced with concern. "What's going on?"

I struggled to compose myself. "Nothing, darling," I tried to reassure her.

She rolled over and looked at me, her eyes shimmering from the little bit of moonlight that slipped in through the blinds. Her eyebrows were raised slightly in the center of her forehead. She was worried about me. I didn't deserve it, and I hated when she was stressed any further by worrying about me. "It's nothing, Hinata, I'm just having a hard time at work, that's all." I kissed her forehead, trying to infuse her with a sense of correctness, a huge, inescapable lie that was only bound to get worse. One more day of proper order was all I was wishing for at this point. She looked away, and it tugged at my heart.  _Please don't leave me, Hinata…_ My soul was bound to shatter if I lost her. "What is it?" I pried.

"Every morning and every night for forever and a half you and I can't seem to keep our hands off each other. You've hardly even spoken to me these past two days, and now that you are here you won't even touch me." She raised her eyes to meet mine. "What's happening to you?"

I felt wretched for not being able to tell her the truth. "I don't know," I admitted honestly enough, shaking my head.

She laid a hand against my cheek. "Well, can you be the man I married tonight? I've missed you."

How could I resist that? I nodded soberly and set about making love to my wife. It was something I had done hundreds of times before, so why was it so difficult now? I caressed her flesh as if it might burn away from me, I kissed her as if she would crack beneath my touch, and held her as if she might turn to dust in my arms and fade away. Something about the way I was touching her sent up a red flag and she stopped me. "What's wrong, Naruto? Something is bothering you."

I stared at her face and willed myself to lie, but could not do it. I bowed my head, looking anywhere except into those naïve and hauntingly beautiful eyes. I did not know what to say. Hinata knew me better than anyone else in the world, though, and suddenly, fiercely wrapped her arms around me and yanked me close. There was a rare handful of times I had needed her to be the stronger one of us. We were strong in different ways, but tonight she was strong and I was mush in her arms. I pressed my ear to her chest and listened to her steady, lightly thudding heartbeat. As the first minute came and went, the tears poured down my face. I was unable to stop the torrents as all the pains, frustrations, and helpless fears wailed out of my eyes. I could not tell her what was wrong, but blessed Hinata knew something was wrong, and she simply held me and let me heave in sobs upon her chest.

"Shhh…. Shhh…" she assured me, gliding one hand over my messy head of hair. She planted a kiss on my worried brow and held me like a frightened child. "Shhh, it's going to be alright, baby. It's going to be alright. Shhh…." She held me like that for what seemed like an eternity. What a complete and utter failure I was! I had broken down in the middle of trying to please my wife and ended up weeping upon her breast.

"Hinata," I began, but she only redoubled her efforts to hush me.

"Shh, later, darling, later. Just rest."

I did as I was told, listening to her heartbeat as she rocked me. If only she knew what I was, or what I was soon to be. Finally, I was calmer, my eyes darting back and forth in my skull as I searched for the words to tell her about the deep shit I had landed us both in. "Hinata?"

"Hm?" she asked, still stroking my hair.

"I can't tell you what I do, but… would you still love me if I did terrible, unspeakable things?"

There was a slight pause. "Of course I would," she answered sincerely. I had my doubts though. If it weren't for that infinitesimal pause I would never have doubted her love, but that hesitation had spoken volumes. My heart shattered in dismay, but I continued prying anyway, needing to know.

"My job is… unquittable," I said slowly, knowing it was not a word. "And I am not going to like myself for what I am required to do. But, I can't lose you Hinata. I'll die."

She stopped running her hand over my head, and I took the opportunity to raise my eyes to meet hers. Hers were widened slightly, innocently afraid of what I was telling her. "You have a lifetime commitment to a terrible job?" she breathed. I nodded carefully, watching her reaction. "Well," she answered, equally as careful. "Just leave work at work, okay?" Her voice quivered, as if on the edge of tears. "I need you just as much as you need me, and even if you are here, I need  _you_  to be here too." The emphasis on 'you' meant that she wanted my focus to be on her while I was home. It was a reasonable request for anyone except for me, but I nodded, hoping to live up to the promise.

I kissed her gently, lingering upon her lips, clinging as if for dear life. Then I kissed her again, more thoroughly, wondering if her kiss would ever again taste so sweet. She snaked her arms around my neck, gripping my head in both hands and kissing back, hard. I practically consumed her kiss, devouring the love my Hinata had to offer. She curled her body up to meet mine, and I ground my hips against hers, forcing a hiss of necessity from my wife. She gasped against my neck and dropped her fingers to my back, digging her nails in and scrabbling along my muscles.

Then, much to my pleasant surprise, she sank her teeth into the curve between my neck and my shoulder, whimpering with pent up need. I didn't waste time tickling and teasing. I nipped, bit, and growled into her skin.

There was a sparking sense of urgency in the air, as if we each believed this might be the last time. I certainly felt like it might be, and I wanted it to be filled with all the sexual aggression I could muster. Hinata was  _mine_  tonight, and I knew if anyone tried to come between us this evening I was going to tear them to shreds, Red Ops be damned. I frantically removed the clothes I had not gotten around to removing earlier, and ditched everything I had been wearing as well. I slipped inside her with barely a pause, earning a carnal, savage sound from my usually complacent wife. I shut my eyes and bit my lip, charged from the auditory stimulant, then grasped her buttocks in both hands and squeezed, making Hinata cry out in surprise.

I loved her as fiercely as I could. Usually between the two of us we were gentle. Our sounds were cries of pleasure and breathy whispers of the other's name, the soft slapping of bodies and the gentle creaking of the bed. Tonight we were rough, intense, and passionate. Our utterances this night were growls, snarls, and yelps, and instead of the soft creaking of the bed, the headboard was thudding loudly against the wall. We didn't care. Tonight it was Naruto and Hinata, joined at the groin and grinding out frustration. It was the kind of sex that cared not for the pleasure of the other, but was more for selfish release. We were the tools of the other's climax.

And when at last, I had waxed and waned and lay slumped atop her, exhausted, I realized what it was I would have to do, and I began to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome, larry!!! :D


	7. Becoming Red Ops

That night I didn't sleep for once, but finally mastered the art of resting without actual sleep. I shut my eyes halfway, allowing my vision to remain sharp enough to see if anything was moving in the room, yet closed enough to ease the fatigue in my eyes. I lay completely still, enjoying the sensation of soreness and stiffness drain from my muscles. My breathing was slow and even, my heartbeat dull and soft. My mind went almost completely blank. It was marvelous, but the more intriguing part of it was that when I rose in the morning, I felt rested. As Siariu stretched a single leg in through my open window, I held up a hand. She paused, then exited the same way.

When I joined her, she clapped softly. "Well done." Without further ado, she led me to the edge of their practice field, just outside the line of the thick copse of trees. We didn't bandy words this morning, and if she had tried I would not have wanted to.

Today I was a different man. You see, these Red Ops ninjas were allowed to do whatever they pleased because no one had opposed them. Yes, perhaps they had eradicated threats before the threats were ever realized. It was possible that their primitive, hack-and-slash methods had led to some good, but it was crystal clear that the opposite effect was more true. Their missions had led to the deaths of more innocents than guilty. Their crimes against the inhabitants of the world were unforgivable, but because no one was capable of putting them down, they were allowed to go on unpunished. Well, I was not about to let them get away with it forever. No, if there was anything that anyone knew about me, it was that I was not one to tolerate treating people like they didn't matter. Red Ops would pay in kind.

Starting that day, I planned to destroy the Red Ops. Unfortunately, against an enemy of their strength, there was only one way I was going to be able to do that. I would have to be more brutal and crueler than the most brutal and cruelest humans on earth. I would need to dive into the abyss of depravity to tackle its creators. I would need to embrace all the evil that my soul was rebelling against to free my own soul. It was going to be the hardest thing I had ever done, and not just because killing the Red Ops was going to be hard. I would need to be like them to kill them, and it meant I was going to have to forsake a lot of my own beliefs. It felt awful at first… until I learned to tune out the emotions.

I didn't master it that day, but I would by evening. In my head I constructed a bonfire, and into that fire I imagined myself throwing every little feeling I was having that moment: the mild soreness in my feet, the tension in my back muscles from last night's fever-pitched romp with Hinata, the ache in my heart I felt for the sadness I had caused her, the pit in my stomach for my stupid mistake… the list went on. I dumped all of my feelings into that fire and watched them curl and crumble and burn to ashes. The last thing that went into that fire was the regret I felt for having done it. For the moment—as I said, it took some time for me to master it—I was pure, numb, and cold. It was rather liberating, to be honest. All the pain was gone.

As I maintained as tight a control as I could over my newly found serene state, Doku started talking. "Today we will teach you the four ninjutsu and the two genjutsu that only the Red Ops know."

"Yes, I understand," I assented in a perfect Red Ops emotionless voice. My face betrayed nothing.

"The four ninjutsu you will learn are: Human Implosion Jutsu, Human Explosion Jutsu, Fountain of Exponential Pain Jutsu, and the Life Link Jutsu. The two genjutsu you will learn are the Disorientation Jutsu and the Demented Palace Jutsu. These are all designed for causing pain or death."

I stated that I understood, and training began. The concepts behind them were so simple… the effects of their power were devastating. Human Implosion and Human Explosion were easily described and not so easily stomached. As the name suggested, they had to do with a manipulation of the inside of the human body. During implosion, the outside of the body was sucked toward the core, and the inside was inverted toward the outside. It left any living thing in a crumpled heap of skin and blood in a concise little package about a fifth of its original size. Explosion sent the insides of the body jetting through the atmosphere far away from the starting point in all directions, leaving nothing where the person had been standing, and blood, hair, and brain matter everywhere else. Implosion, I was told, was for quick, undetectable kills in tight spaces, while explosion was more of a display and a good way to cause a lot of damage in a large area. The Fountain of Exponential Pain Jutsu was a torture device. Once initiated, the jutsu caused more and more pain throughout the entire body and did not allow death, not even heart failure. It meant that a body was able to withstand more pain that it should, beyond measurable increments. It was used to extract information; the pain could last as long as its caster wanted it to, and because death was not an option, if the victim did not cough up everything they knew, they could spend an eternity in the most exquisite and excruciating pain. The Life Link Jutsu was used as an instant mass murder trap. With this technique, life forces were networked together to beat as one. What it meant was, as soon as one of the links was killed, the rest instantly died. It had its uses.

The two genjutsu did not seem very dangerous, but then again, genjutsu was mostly used to daze and confuse your opponent so that you could land a killing blow. In the Demented Palace Jutsu, the victim was mentally placed within a realm of madness. They would lose all memory of who they were, how they had gotten there, and if they were even human. Unless the Red Ops in charge of the jutsu felt particularly merciful that day—not likely—it was possible that you could just be left in there, even if the creator of the illusion died. The Disorientation Jutsu was as easy to understand as it sounded. The idea was to confuse your enemy in the most basic fashion: by tricking them into believing friends were enemies, enemies were friends, and completely disrupting the body's internal compass.

My emotional control slipped when I was forced to begin practicing them. We stalked silently through the surrounding woods, hunting anything that moved. Each time we found a live creature, I was instructed to use my new techniques. It was cruel; the poor animals had not done anything! It was especially tragic that I was not any good at them yet, and idly I thought that maybe this was a sick attempt at making me learn faster. I tried to explode a squirrel, and instead only blew a couple of limbs off, leaving the poor thing scrabbling helplessly in the dirt and screaming. The cool regulation I'd been able to maintain on my feelings shattered into a million pieces at the sound, and it took me a minute to regain my composure as the thing drew bloody circles where it had fallen. I performed a Disorientation jutsu on a rabbit, and it immediately sought out a fox and picked a fight. The fox looked more confused than the rabbit, but was not about to miss an opportunity and quickly dispatched the pitiful thing. I really lost it, though, when I used the Fountain of Exponential Pain Jutsu on another squirrel and had to listen to the same cries from the first squirrel turn into unearthly wails and hoarse screeches as the jutsu got worse and worse. With tears on my face I went to release the jutsu and was stopped by Miyugo, who glared at me.

"It's a success. Reap the reward."

I stared back, incredulous, but let it continue. As the squirrel kept screaming, I struggled to get control of myself again. I shoveled everything I felt into a wildfire and threw fuel on the flames, hurriedly trying to sort out my frustrations. My heart became stone, and then gradually transitioned into steel tempered by the howls of a tortured squirrel. In a few moments I was watching without feeling or saying anything. Fifteen minutes later I was instructed to move on, leaving it behind to suffer needlessly, alone. Without questioning the order, I followed.

It took me the rest of the day to learn them though, and as the sun dipped and sank below the rim of the world, I'd still only managed to squeeze out a few pathetic attempts of each. My comrades were relentless. It didn't matter if I thought I was out of chakra; they knew better anyway. They knew that if they pushed me, the Kyuubi's chakra would take over and I'd have far more chakra than I did usually. They did not seem to care that if I did that there was a chance that the real me would not come back. I still wonder if they really minded or not. Who could really guess what their goals were? I managed to scrape by without incident though. I was determined not to reach for the fox's chakra ever again.

When the darkness became too heavy for us to observe the victims of my education, I was sent home. I began the walk toward the house Hinata and I shared, carried by the mechanical functions that had brought me to that same door day after day after day. My brain blanked and I simply walked, one foot in front of the other. The quiet streets of the village passed by, and I began to feel that the walls of the shops, the windows of the studios atop them, and all the people, asleep or not, knew what I had done today and were judging me with their silence. It was like everyone was telling me "We can't talk to you, Naruto, because you are evil." Dimly I was aware that the thought itself was insane, and I shook my head to ditch the thought, but when the world stopped spinning from the shake, the feeling remained that the village itself disapproved of my being there.

And so, without a word or a second thought, I abandoned my walk home. I changed direction and let my feet carry me elsewhere. It wasn't until my toes felt my destination that I even knew where I was going. I stared out across the Leaf Village from atop the head of the Fourth Hokage.  _Let the damned village judge me from up here,_  I thought childishly. Instead of being at the mercy of the oppressing streets of my home, I stood atop the visage of the most heroic Hokage that Konoha had ever seen, my father, Minato Namikaze. If the eyes of Konoha wanted to look down upon me, they were going to have a hard time.

I didn't really know why I was there, only that I felt like I could not be at home right now. Something about Hinata was beginning to really bug me, and I really just wanted to get away from everyone in the world for the time being. Here, atop the stone face of my father, maybe something would make sense. I glared down at my home, struggling to feel something besides irritation. Love for my wife, contentment in the security of my life, anger at a stupid decision, hatred for the Red Ops. Nothing. I had so efficiently burned my feelings away with that damned squirrel that I was having a hard time feeling anything. I felt as if my heart had crumbled away and left only the part that beats. After an hour or so of trying to be myself, I gave up; in doing so, I realized a piece of incredible irony. Beneath the red and black boots of my Red Ops uniform was the likeness of the greatest hero Konoha had ever seen, who had given his life for the village and instilled in me the ultimate power to protect it. What a disappointment  _I_  was.

I uttered a short, lifeless laugh, void of any real amusement. Then I stood, took one last look at my village, and turned my back, leaving my father's face alone with the other Hokages' to watch over them. My face would never make that wall.

Finally, with nothing left to occupy my time for the evening, I went home. I opened the door on a dark house, and noted the time on the wall. It was just past midnight; Hinata was probably asleep. I slipped quietly into the room and found that to apparently be the case. Her breathing came evenly, and she lay sprawled on her back across both our spaces, a peaceful expression upon her face. I stood next to her side of the bed and stared down at her, trying in vain to feel something. Surely, if I was going to be able to feel anything, the serene, sleeping form of the love of my life should have been the cause. I stared, and waited for the feelings of desire to wash over me. I was actually more frustrated about not feeling it than I was distressed. Wanting to be disgusted with myself for thinking it but finding it impossible, I realized I still could not bear to be too near her. So, instead of curling up next to her as I would have loved to do a bare week ago, I dragged out an old blanket from a chest in the hallway closet, meant for guests, and situated myself on the couch, staring up at the ceiling and beginning the not-asleep-but-resting mode of a Red Ops recruit.

I didn't even think about the day's activities. I had already grasped the futility of trying to feel anything, and that meant there was no reason to think about the grey squirrel in the woods who was probably still screaming in agony unless a predator had put it out of its misery. By the sounds it had been making, it was more likely that every other animal in the forest was avoiding that area entirely, knowing there was something entirely wrong about the level of pain it was experiencing.

I stared straight up at the ceiling, feeling nothing, thinking nothing. Just resting, as I was meant to.


	8. Something is Wrong

The next day was really not worth noting. I spent the entire day mastering the jutsu from the day before. A little bit more noise from the shrieking squirrels, and a couple of instances of linking together families of ground fowl or deer and executing them for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's about it.

After I had the techniques well in hand, we all met back at headquarters. It was time for me to start synergizing with the team. When the eight of us were assembled and the entrance to the secret base shut behind Gadamaru—the last to enter—we each removed our masks. I observed the expressionless faces of my comrades and wondered idly if my face matched theirs. There was a corner of my mind that imagined each and every one of their deaths, but I found myself unable to hate them. It had gotten to the point that I recognized that they needed to die. My mind was clear but for that single thought… but now was not the time. It was possible that the Red Ops felt about other people how I did about them: they simply needed to be eliminated.

Doku had a scroll in his hands. When we had all seated ourselves stiffly around the edge of the room, forming a tight circle, he crouched and placed it upon the ground in front of him. He met each of our eyes individually, intensely. I was washed with the feeling of importance and secrecy. When he had made eye contact with each of us he spoke. "This is a mission command from the Hokage. As members of the ANBU Red Ops, you are reminded that no one will ever know of the details contained within this scroll except for the eight gathered here, the present Hokage, and any future Red Ops recruits. Do you understand?"

As one, our voices rang throughout the tiny room. "Yes, I understand."

Without further question, Doku unraveled the scroll and began reading. "A traitor has been revealed within the domain of the Leaf Village. An ANBU report reveals that another ANBU operative has been exchanging information with an unidentified contact within the Waterfall Village. Thursday afternoon he and his wife and children will be making a journey to her family's estates outside the Leaf Village. Your job is to assassinate all four of them and destroy all evidence of their deaths. Furthermore, you need to extract all the information that you can about what information has been passed to the Waterfall Village. Your primary target is Genma Shiranui, with secondary targets Youko Shiranui, Natsu Shiranui, and Hayate Shiranui. Their pictures are enclosed. This mission begins at two in the afternoon on Thursday, and ends upon the execution of the last target. A full report will be required." It was signed by Tsunade.

In my bubble of numbness, I felt nothing. I know it's hard for anyone else to understand, but I was not shocked at this declaration. A week ago, I would have been, but the Red Ops had destroyed most of my humanity. With emotion out of the equation, I was left running on pure logic. By all appearances, Genma was a loyal and dedicated Shinobi who led an ANBU squad with admirable gusto. However, that did not mean he could not be a traitor. In fact, it was quite the opposite. With the position he held in the Leaf Village, Genma was a great candidate for treason. He'd been involved in numerous critical battles in the history of the Leaf Village, and fought well, indicating his loyalty to Konoha. He had a new family that needed his support and protection, so he would not want to risk it. And finally, he had a profitable job as an ANBU squad leader, which required a huge time and effort commitment to the most elite protection force in Konoha—well, besides Red Ops, but that was not known to exist. No, there was no reason Genma should have been a traitor… but then, there was no reason either why he should not, mainly because it was impossible to know what was to be gained on his end.

Besides, one of the rules I had been taught the first day was to never question orders. Someone smarter than me was supposedly crafting my orders, and it was my duty to carry them out without asking questions. And so, it had become our job to kill my former ANBU squad leader, his wife, and both of his young children.

One might ask, why was it necessary for us to assassinate the wife and kids? Well, if you were to ask, your answers would probably not satisfy. The existence of the Red Ops was meant to eliminate threats before, during, and after they had become a threat. Elimination was to be swift and efficient, and never seen to be caused or commanded by the Leaf Village. We were, for all intents and purposes, a rogue team of bounty hunters. We did the dirty work and left the Hokage's hands clean. So, eliminating Genma eliminated the threat. Eliminating the woman and two children who would be traveling with him eliminated the witnesses of the assassination and any chance of retribution. A dead wife and kids could tell no one that Genma had been murdered. A dead wife could not seek revenge and snoop around for answers. Dead kids could not grow up in want of revenge for a slain father. To put the icing on the cake, so to speak, because all four of them were scheduled to disappear, it left the citizens of Konoha with an open ended conclusion. What had happened to them? Did they run away? Were they killed? Or maybe, if word got out that Genma had been a traitor, maybe they had been traitors and had defected. Then, they'd be placed on the missing-nin list and hunted forever, fruitlessly.

"So," Doku began, rolling up the scroll, "this will be simple. As usual, we form two teams. Siariu, Kiriki, Chadon and I will be Squad One with me as leader. Miyugo, Gadamaru, Miru, and Naruto will be Squad Two. Squad One will concentrate on the secondary targets, and Squad Two will focus on extracting the information from the primary target. The concept of the mission will be to use the secondary targets as a means to extract information from the primary target. Eventually, the death of the three secondary targets will loosen the primary target's tongue to the extent that we need, and when we are satisfied he has said all he needs to say, we can dispatch him. We cannot burn the bodies at the risk of attracting attention. We're going to need to use an earth-style jutsu to place them deep underground."

From there, Doku elaborated the details of the mission like a perfectly choreographed dance of death. We knew where we would need to be at every possible moment of the mission. We ran over a couple of worst-case scenarios in case Genma proved to be a more difficult opponent than we thought. We didn't think it was likely though. This was not going to be a fair fight. We did not believe on meeting on even ground for a duel; this was going to be an ambush, and the first step of the dance was to immobilize Genma.

I noted also that Doku never referred to Genma and his family by name. They were always spoken of as targets, dehumanizing them in our minds and transforming them merely into an objective that needed to be completed.

Once we had confirmed that we knew the details of the mission, we all headed out to the practice field. The rest of the day was spent running drills without spoken commands. We divided ourselves into our respective squads. By the time the sun had gone down I felt like a cohesive part of the Red Ops. I had no room in my heart to feel either pride or relief though. In my effort to become more cruel and emotionless than they, I had succeeded and felt nothing.

Well, no one had ever accused  _me_  of giving up or falling short of my goals.

At the end of training, Doku told us all to meet at the practice field at 2:00 p.m. the next day to start the mission. With that proclamation, we were all relieved of duty for the day. I changed out of my uniform and headed home. I headed straight home, opened the door to my house, and walked inside. It was still early enough for Hinata to be awake, and she was there, in the kitchen, making herself a pot of tea. She looked cold and a little bit ill. When she saw me, she froze, her eyes widening slightly. "Naruto," she breathed. "You're home." Her eyes searched my face, though I didn't know what she was looking for.

"Yes," I replied, simply.

She sat down at the table and poured two cups of tea, adding honey to mine as usual and nothing to hers. I drank it, out of sheer habit. She began speaking, never taking her eyes of me. She looked wary, and in the back of my mind, it was already irritating me. "I talked to Genma about your party. He said he and the guys will all be there. I invited all your other friends as well. I posted a list on the refrigerator for when you have time. It's going to be on Saturday at 2:00 p.m."

"Yes, I understand," I acknowledged, the words rolling off my tongue as easily as ever.

She hesitated, staring at me for a moment before she spoke. "I've got something to tell you," she said, her eyes shining.

I waited without answering because answering was not needed. I knew she would tell me without being pressed, as was a woman's way.

For some reason, this was the wrong move, for she adopted a confused expression and cocked her head slightly to the side. "What's wrong?"she asked.

"Nothing is wrong," I answered, believing it to be true. I did a quick scan through my thoughts. Everything that was needed to prepare for tomorrow's mission had been taken care of, and my possessions were organized, ready to go. Our dwelling had enough food in it to sustain both of its inhabitants. Most importantly, the Hokage was safe, right this moment, and our target was still unaware of our intentions. Yep, it seemed fine to me.

Something about the way I answered her irked her, though, I could tell. "You can't honestly believe that, after all you've told me. How can you say that?" she asked, anger peeking through in her tone. Hinata, angry?

"How can I say what?" I asked. She had asked an unclear question. How was I supposed to answer?

"How can you say nothing's wrong?" she asked, her voice rising in volume and pitch.

It was truly an irritating sound, and not one I was interested in hearing. "It's only a word, 'nothing,'" I answered. "And nothing is wrong."

" _Something_  is wrong," she insisted. "And I'm not going to stop until you tell me what." She fixed her eyes on my face. I didn't like the accusatory stare that she was giving me, either.

"Nothing is wrong," I repeated, slowly this time, so she got it.

"SOMETHING IS WRONG!" she shrieked, swiping the pot of tea off the table and sending it crashing to the floor. She stared at the pieces as they skittered to a stop, and when the last teeter-tottering piece of porcelain slowed and ceased tilting, the first tears poured from her eyes. She never took her eyes off the broken teapot.

I narrowed my eyes. "Something  _is_  wrong," I stated flatly. "The teapot is broken. Now we have to buy a new one."

She shut her eyes and bit her lower lip, squeezing out even more tears, but chose to ignore my smartass remark. I watched her cry, transfixed, and wondering if I would ever be able to cry again. Probably not, I decided. I kept staring, waiting for her to speak. I knew it would be a good time to get to rest though. I had a big day tomorrow, so I wished she would stop trying to make me feel bad and just get on with it.

Hinata wrapped her arms around her abdomen and sighed, then wiped the tears away. "Naruto… I don't know what has happened to you. You've been different. The way you talk to me, the way you look at me, the way you sit and stand… Just a few days ago everything was normal, and since you got this new job… I never  _see_  you, I can barely  _touch_  you, and whoever it is speaking to me right now, he's not the Naruto Uzumaki that  _I_  knew. He's not the Naruto Uzumaki I married."

I blinked, then a moment later dug into my pocket and pulled out my ninja ID. This, I slid across the table so she could read the name upon the card, which clearly said "Naruto Uzumaki" under "name." I gave her a look, then added, "I'm the only me."

She didn't even look at it. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You're an asshole," she said, then stood up, kicked the shattered pieces of the teapot aside causing one of the larger pieces to further shatter into smaller ones, and stomped off toward our room.

I finished my cup of tea calmly, then followed her into the bedroom. I was determined to have a comfortable rest tonight so I'd have a better start tomorrow, so I changed into my pajama pants and lay down upon the mattress. Hinata curled up into a tight ball beside me, breathing heavily and wheezing. I knew that she was crying, and did not have a solution for it. Just then, I remembered that she had had something to tell me.

"What did you have to tell me?" I asked.

She didn't answer me.

"Hinata, you had something to say, so say it," I pressed, thinking she had not heard me.

Still nothing.

"Didn't you have something to say?" I persisted.

Finally, she mumbled into her pillow, "Forget it. It's not important anyway."

And that was fine with me.


	9. Weakness

My training was over, and the mission was a success, making me a full member of the ANBU Red Ops. Genma, his wife, and both of his children were dead and gone. I felt no satisfaction nor regret at having been there and participated during Genma's execution. He  _may_  have gotten us all killed, after all, and the purpose of Red Ops was to eliminate all potential threats. The memory of the puddles and rivers of blood was vibrant in my thoughts, the red and the cries of agony and anguish serving as strong reminders that the Red Ops was an unnecessarily strong force. There was no reason to cultivate an emotionless mob of murderers while the village employed a substantial force as efficient as Black Ops was. It was time to begin a plan for killing Red Ops.

I blinked, staring out upon the Leaf Village, as I had been doing for the past twenty-four hours. Why go home? Hinata's distress was aggravating, to say the least, and I had plans to make. It's not like she was going anywhere, so right now she was the least of any of my worries. My thoughts were perfectly clear without her nagging in my head. I didn't have her trying to distract me with inane discussions about her day at the hospital trying to save the lives of the pathetically dying. She was too soft to understand the work I did, and I didn't feel bad at all about leaving her down there to go about her work and just leave me in peace. She and I were just... way too different.

I breathed slowly, resting my body between the half-sleep I was used to as a Red Ops recruit and being fully awake. It was a mode of rest that was conducive to deep thinking. I pieced together what I knew of my comrades. Siariu seemed to be the only one holding onto any sort of human emotion. She was the only one that exhibited impatience or humor. She was the weak link of Red Ops, which made it all the more clear why emotions were a weakness to a Shinobi. The thought was not comforting, however. It meant that the jounin were like toddlers fiddling with knives in the dark, and Black Ops were only like rebellious teenagers, full of angst and passion that made them easily predictable, if a bit stronger. I was quite a bit stronger than any of them, for I was not held back by any sort of inhibitions or obligations. One could simply not predict the actions of one who fought for no other reason other than to eliminate an enemy. It was just like anyone else trying to do a good job; I was only in it to be sure I did a job well done. No amount of whining, crying, screaming, nagging, or pressing me was going to make me do my job any better or any worse. I would be efficient no matter which forces tried to make me do otherwise.

Siariu was the weak link, and despite his brutal strength, Doku was as well. Doku was the leader, and it was possible that if I eliminated him first, the others would be disoriented by their lack of leadership. It was less likely, though, that annihilating Doku would have as much of an effect as if I destroyed Siariu when the rest of the team was dependent on her. Miyugo was a poor choice; he was not in charge nor did he really have a weakness. Kiriki did not speak, so getting through to her was virtually impossible. None of them were physically weak or incapable. To my disadvantage, the Red Ops was a team with very few weaknesses. No matter though… I would work with what I had. I had been trained to work under pressure with deadly precision and unshakable concentration.

First I would take out Siariu, and then Doku. The rest would be a piece of cake with those two out of the way. Since they were predictably always on the same squad—another weakness, I supposed—it meant that Squad One would be crippled without them, and since Squad Two was my squad and I was the antagonist, it meant that I would have effectively blown a hole through the organization of Red Ops. These concepts formed the backbone of my plan; once I had that well in mind, planning the rest was easy. Had I been a poorly trained Shinobi as I had been a week ago, I might have felt pride at my strategy. Because I was now strong enough to delete the need for emotions, I felt nothing but cool confidence that it would work.

I remained upon the crown of my father's stone head until the sun had begun to slip down beneath the embrace of the earth, and then I made the trek to my house. I didn't really know why though, for there was really nothing for me there. My wife had become a weakness. If my enemies knew I had a wife they would think to use her against me. I now balked at the idea that I had ever considered having children with her. Not only were children another tool against my life, but their pitiful helplessness made them easy targets. These last two thoughts, I had evidence for… very loud, obnoxious, colorful evidence.

* * *

 

_Siariu removed her mask as she leaned over and kissed Genma on the brow, acting more than a little smug. She was an anomaly among the Red Ops. She didn't need to be emotionless, for she was a born killer. She delighted in the kill; she bathed in the blood of innocents and fell asleep to their screams with a smile on her face, figuratively speaking of course. Then, she drew the cruel blade of her katana from its sheath caressing the blade as if it were the flushed cheek of a lover. With a quick snap of her wrist, a graceful arc of her arm through the air, the woman's head was parted from her shoulders._

_Well, at least her crying had ceased. Genma's had only gotten louder, hoarser, and more frenzied. Her face was hidden by a mess of dark hair, already sticky with her own blood. The children were whimpering, afraid to even scream for fear of drawing attention to themselves. They looked to their father, hoping that in his strength they would see their lives saved. He'd been such a solid, immovable force before, quick to smile, always confident that things would work out._

_Genma did not look at them; he couldn't, for he was ashamed that he somehow was to be their doom. "Why?" he whispered, voice raw with pain. "Why? What have I done? Who are you people?"_

_Siariu smiled. Her part in the show was far from over, but for now she was given reprieve to enjoy her handiwork. Miyugo held Genma's right arm painfully and awkwardly stretched so that he could not even flex his fingers. Gadamaru held his left the same way. Miru was one half of the barrier jutsu that hid them from sight and hearing, sitting just behind the bent and broken form of the ANBU squad leader. Kiriki was the other half, seated beyond the line of the three captives. Chadon was free from his detail now that Youko Shiranui was dead. Dead wives did not struggle. He now remained seated, unaffected by the fact that he was sitting in a widening lake of blood. He needn't worry about uniform stains. The black and red motif was untarnished by the stains of war._

_I stood, back straight, staring over the head of Genma Shiranui. "You have been accused of espionage, Genma Shiranui—" I began._

" _Naruto?" His voice broke on the word, incredulous and betrayed. "Naruto, is that you?" Of course it was me. Genma and I had shared drinks too many times to count. A good squad leader recognized the voice of one of his teammates, for they would often coordinate in the cover of total darkness._

"— _It has been proven that you have been exchanging documents—" I continued over his pleas._

" _Naruto? Naruto!"_

"— _with unidentified sources within the waterfall village. With your position—"_

" _What have you done? Naruto, you know me! What have you done?"_

"— _as an ANBU Black Ops squad leader—"_

" _Answer me, dammit!" He began sobbing. "Oh, Youko…"_

"— _any information you share with the enemy could put us all in danger. It has been ordered that we extract as much information from you about it as possible."_

" _Youko…"_

" _If you tell us what we need to know, the rest of your family will be spared," I finished._

_Genma shook his head, sending unabashed tears flying in either direction away from his face. "I don't know what you are talking about," he said softly, bowing his head with regrets._

" _You know that it means the lives of your children if you don't give us answers, Genma Shiranui?" I pressed._

_He shook his head again, and then tried to make eye contact with me, his former teammate. "Naruto, I don't know what you are talking about! I have not shared information with anyone!"_

" _You should answer the question," I began, ready to press him harder, "or it will turn out very badly."_

_His eyes pleaded with mine, but mine had stopped being connected with my heart a long time ago. That part of me was gone, long gone. I was merciless. "Please, Naruto, stop this. Please."_

" _Genma, you have thirty seconds to decide which of your offspring is allowed to live, or else we kill them both."_

_His eyes widened far enough to threaten to escape from his face. "NO! Oh no, Naruto, no! Please, I am begging you, don't hurt them. They have not done anything!"_

" _Choose," I pressured, holding my hand up, ready to signal Siariu. "Fifteen seconds."_

_He wept, panicking, trying to plead with me one last time._

" _Five seconds," I reminded, raising my hand a fraction further._

" _Hayate," he whispered, barely able to speak, choked with grief. With weakness._

_I felt a miniature touch of thrill, a small piece of what I imagined Siariu must feel, as I held the power of life and death in my hands. It made me cruel. "I didn't hear that," I said._

" _Hayate!" he said, more loudly, then slumped in the grip of his captors. If he'd not been supported, he would have been facedown in the earth._

_I gave the signal. The kids started crying, more loudly as the hauntingly beautiful murderess approached them. I didn't turn around. My attention needed to remain on the primary target. She stalked slowly, reveling in the moment of the kill, until Doku snapped at her to get on with it. "We aren't here to have a good time," he reminded her. "You have a job." I heard her footsteps scuff to a stop. Then I heard her sheath the blade and form hand signs instead. "Forbidden Red Ops Technique: Human Implosion Jutsu!" she said sweetly. I heard the sound of success: a cracking, ripping, popping sound that would have made any person vomit with revulsion without seeing the mess. I didn't even flinch, and I knew none of my comrades would either. Her older brother, Hayate, screamed in fear._

_I waited a moment for the man in front of me to get the picture. This was not a time to dodge questions. "Genma. Tell me what you've been telling the Waterfall Village and this will all be over."_

_He shook his head ruefully. "Maps," he croaked. "Maps. One of the village, one of the Hokage's tower, and one of the ANBU—" He swallowed, trying to compose himself, his voice scratchy and raw, "—ANBU Headquarters. Are you satisfied?" he shouted, glaring into the place on my mask where my eyes would be. "Well? Are you satisfied, you cruel bastard? Are you?"_

_I ignored his last outburst and pressed on with the interrogation. "Anything else?"_

" _No," he grated._

_I raised my hand again, causing his renewed composure to crumble entirely._

" _No!" he sobbed, then hurried on. "Lists of the names of every member of ANBU, with stars next to the names of squad leaders. Descriptions, of—" he panted, taking a few deep breaths, "—of each Shinobi in the Black Ops. The routines and habits of the Hokage, a report of some of the most secret and powerful jutsu that Leaf Village Shinobi possess. Weaknesses, strengths, and personality mannerisms of each and every capable ninja—" Siariu whistled appreciatively. "—the location of the chamber where evacuated Leaf Village residents are kept, and a detailed inventory of our weapons stores. That's all, I swear to you, on my life."_

_I nodded. "That was not so hard, now, was it, Genma?"_

_His eyes stared back but he said nothing, becoming the portrait of hatred incarnate. His face was so haggard and strained that I thought he might pass out and die. In the background I heard his brat whimpering "daddy, help me…" which threatened to be slightly distracting._

" _A few more things. Who is it you sent this to?"_

" _Dariku Sasaku, a genin who would never be noticed in the Waterfall Village. It was meant to make him important." It was not a name I recognized._

" _Why?"_

" _He's also my son, from before Youko."_

_I took a step back, instinctively out of reach in case Genma somehow escaped, and looked over to Doku, the leader of the operation. He nodded back to me. We were finished here. Without another word, Siariu drove her sword through the boy's heart._

" _NOOOOOOO!" Genma shrieked, straining against the grip on his arms. I unsheathed my sword as he started blathering. "Yuoko, Natsu, Hayate!" He sobbed. "No! No, no, NO! I'll never forgive you, Naru—"_

_And with one swift movement of my katana, the mission was concluded._

* * *

 

Genma had been extraordinarily weak, in the end. He was weak because he put the well being of his family before his power as a ninja. Alone, he might have been able to struggle free from his captors and put up a fight before going down honorably. He could probably have killed at least two of us. But because he had assumed we were merciful and would let his family go, he let us hold him, afraid we would hurt them, unaware we planned to kill them all anyway.

I had nothing like that. Until the Red Ops were dead, it would just be me, alone. No one could be more important than the mission at hand. Love was a weakness. Concern was a weakness. Any emotion could be exploited as a weakness.

Hinata was no one to me now.  _Could be_  no one to me now. With this thought foremost in my head, I opened the door to my house.


	10. Shutting the Door

Things went a little differently that night in the Uzumaki household. Before, I had been concerned with what she had to tell me. I'd been receptive to her words, and had let her speak. Because of that, I had let her belittle me, yell at me, and try to manipulate me. Tonight was different, because tonight I was not about to let her walk all over me. I was invincible.

The door opened. There was light from the living room. I planned to spend some time sitting on the couch and going over my plan to eliminate the Red Ops, so that was where I was headed. Convenient that the light had been left on. As I appeared in the door way of the living room, however, I was made aware of an imposing and unnecessary presence in my space. Hinata, of course. She was sitting alone, on the sofa, with a blanket wrapped around her legs and a cup of tea in her hands. She was bent over her knees, staring straight down at the floor, until I entered the room.

Upon being noticed in the doorway, her entire demeanor changed. Because I was separate from my emotions, I noticed the manipulative strategy take place. I actually recognized it! Because I knew from catching her off guard that she was distraught and confused, but as soon as she saw me she attempted to appear angry, threatening, and strong. But you see, because I knew better, the move did nothing to affect me. She straightened, clenching the cup between her hands. "We need to talk," she said coolly.

I had been warned about that phrase when I married her. Kakashi had told me that "We need to talk" always meant problems. I narrowed my eyes at her. I didn't tolerate problems, especially not in my house. Who did she think she was?

She gulped, but continued. "Naruto, what has happened to you?"

I thought to myself that I had heard her say that before. Within a few seconds my memories told me that I was correct. Instead of answering the redundant question, I sat in an arm chair and blocked out her nattering, replacing her words with the meticulously crafted Red Ops death strategy in my head. Her words became a buzz in the back of my mind. I fixed my eyes on a point straight ahead of me, a small spot of pigment that didn't match the rest of the wall. All I heard from her was "Ohns ieon reuhiauhg das blah blah grrgg em wahhhh…" sniff sniff, sob, "…eey iuratches iieee… awww o agn int." It was gibberish, as you might have guessed by now, and was easily ignored.

Suddenly, though, I felt a sting on the left side of my face. I blinked, refocusing on the rest of the room I had inadvertently chosen to share with the disgruntled kunoichi. It took me a second to realize what had happened.

"Are you listening to me?" she screamed into my face. Her cheeks were damp, so she had been crying again. Bah!

I swear, there is nothing more irritating than crying, and I had already seen enough of it quite recently, thanks. I turned flat, emotionless eyes to stare back at her face. I didn't ask her if she had slapped me; I already knew. From a seated position, I pushed her straight backwards with all my might. I saw her look of shock before I saw her jetting away from me, only stopping when her body collided with the spot of wall I had been watching a moment before. She lay there a moment, unmoving, before slowly dragging herself up to her elbows. An expression of hurt bloomed on her face, enhanced by surprise. I stood from my chair and walked over to her, slowly, deliberately. My mind was still on my previous mission, and I felt as deadly then as I did now. I stood close to her and looked straight down. I knew my face betrayed nothing, and I recognized that that terrified her. It was evident in the way she looked at me from her position on the floor, and from the way she shrank into a tiny ball. Now she wanted to be as meek as possible. Yes, the posturing on her end was done. Now she was being honest. I shook my head slowly, disgusted.

I needed her to leave me in peace. I reached down, ignoring the way she whimpered with fright, and dragged her up by her arms. I lifted her, anchoring my grip in her shoulders. She was not very heavy, so it was not very difficult. Then, without speaking, I took her to the front door and set her on her own two feet just inside the door. Her knees turned inward weakly, as if she were considering fainting. When the door was open, I placed one hand roughly between her shoulder blades and pushed her beyond the threshold of the door. When one hundred percent of the kunoichi was beyond the boundary, I shut the door, placing it between Hinata and me—right where it belonged.

As I turned the lock to make it permanent, I heard the squeal of something dragging against the door. A moment after that, I heard the thud of something falling dully upon the porch. As I turned my back to the door, she began wailing to the night air. Without comment, I went throughout the rest of the house, locking every door and every window to keep her out. When I finally settled back onto the sofa—not the chair; now that Hinata was gone I chose the superior seat—she began slapping the door and calling to me.

"Naruto, let me in!" she cried between sobs. "Let me in!"

I tuned her out. I didn't need her anymore. I did take a bare minute to consider what had just transpired. Yes, a moment of feeling to regret a mistake… to learn from it. How had I ever ended up chaining myself to such a basket case? Why had I gotten married at all? Now that I had seen the consequences of acquiring weaknesses like a lover and offspring, I could not justify it by making it make sense. I had tried to cripple myself. It was unforgivable, and should be considered a sin of all Shinobi. Ninja were supposed to be soldiers. What kind of force chose to be hindered by weaknesses? I shook my head. Shutting the door on Hinata had been symbolic. It was over.

With her out of my head, I concentrated on my personal crusade, and the rest of the night went fine. At some point—though I didn't remember when, exactly—the pounding on my front door had stopped. At some later point, I decided it was time to get some rest.

It was extremely comfortable to lie flat and sprawl out on a king-sized bed alone.

The next day was my day off. I did not understand why Red Ops needed the day off, but it was what it was. I spent a few extra hours resting, then rose and made breakfast for myself. After filling my stomach enough to last until the next meal but not too much so that I was unable to fight if need be, I dressed and got ready to leave. As I reached the front door though, I noticed a slip of paper had been slid across the door jamb. Thinking it might be a message from Doku, I picked it up.

It was not a message from my leader, but from Hinata instead.

"Naruto—

I told you before, but I don't think you heard me. I'm six weeks pregnant. I don't know what's happened to you or to us, but I'm scared to death of what's going to happen. If something—"

I didn't read the rest. My eyes had scanned too much of it already. I crumpled the slip of paper and threw it into the trash can.

For reasons I didn't fully understand, I thought it might be a good idea to walk through the Leaf Village. It was, however, the entity for which I fought, the one weakness I was allowed. I did everything for the Village. Konoha's safety was the reason I had joined the Red Ops and the reason I now sought to destroy the Red Ops. I supposed that it would be good to see what I was fighting for.

I strode up and down the streets alone, my head held high and my face set expressionless. I didn't wear my uniform, of course. It was only for missions. I clasped my hands behind my back, and walked with the sure step that the owner of a business might possess.

So, this was home.

At first, I was only paying attention to the buildings. They seemed proud, reaching for the sky, and brightly colored. This was a thriving village, full of proud, strong people. The buildings had stood, more or less, for many years. When they had been broken, they had been rebuilt. Few of the structures were completely unmolested by the trials of time and war, but they were there now. If I had anything to do with it, these buildings would only ever need to stand against the pressures of time itself.

I was made aware of the people when one shoved his presence into my personal space. I recognized Konohamaru, the Third Hokage's grandson. His face was grinning stupidly, even with my own. He'd become tall with age just as we all did, eventually. "Hey, Naruto! How's it going?" He reached out a hand to shake mine.

I shook it because that is what I was supposed to do with friends and allies. I didn't smile back though. There was no reason to show emotion, even now. "Konohamaru," I said, with a nod of my head.

"I'm really excited for your party today. When was it again? Two? Three?"

I had completely forgotten, but mostly because I really didn't care about it anymore. "Two."

He raised his eyebrow at me, as if he were creeped out. "Ooookayyyyy," he said, studying my face. "Where's the real Naruto?"

"I am the real Naruto," I replied. It seemed odd to me, for here in front of me stood the second person to question my identity. I considered showing him my ninja ID card as well, but could not be bothered to put forth the effort. I knew who I was, and that was enough.

He looked around me, trying to find someone else. "No, you're some sort of malfunctioned clone jutsu. You're definitely not Naruto."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not," he insisted, his eyebrows drawn down into a perfect scowl.

"Yes, I am, and I will not repeat myself again. You ought to feel ashamed of yourself."

"Wha?" he said, taking a step back from me.

"Why aren't you training?"

"Excuse me,  _Mother_ ," he scoffed with a frown. "I got the day off to go to your little party. Congratulations on the new job," he muttered as he walked off shaking his head.

I was not going to go to the party. I needed to focus on killing the Red Ops, and parties were dangerous. All the noise would make it hard to hear anything approaching. All the people and movement would make it difficult to focus. People would try to talk to me, trying to distract me from my goal. I didn't need any more distractions. If they wanted to celebrate my shouldering a responsibility they could not fulfill themselves, they could do it without me.

"Don't mind me," I mumbled aloud to my Village. "While your finest Shinobi are out drinking themselves stupid I will protect you."

This village needed to see some changes. As I removed the blemish that was Red Ops, I would need to see to it that the rest of the Shinobi picked up the slack. The slaughter would not be needed if the other ninja were just more vigilant. If we were stronger together, we would not need to have so many divisions of strength. Oh yes, there would be changes.

But in the meantime, it was time. I needed to meet with the Red Ops, and I needed to start killing them. I had abandoned my first idea in favor of an easier one. The key to my plan was the Life Link Jutsu. I merely needed to link together the lives of the Red Ops and kill them all at once. None of them would let me kill them, of course, except Siariu, the weak link. My plan was flawless.

The way the Jutsu worked was extremely simple. You made the hand signs, creating a seal on the tips of your fingers, just like any sealing jutsu. Until you killed one of the people you sealed, the seals just kept stacking. I would seal each Red Ops and then kill the last, and then they would all be gone. All I needed to do, therefore, was touch each and every Red Ops.

But how did one touch an untouchable force, and without suspicion?

Easy. Training, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : So, this is the part where I get to be a little bit of a bad author. I'm not going to explain the party that Naruto did not go to, or how the village found out that Genma and his family mysteriously would not make it to the party. I'm just going to blab a bit right now. Naruto's friends were curious as to why the Shiranui family failed to show, but not terribly worried. A man with kids could be home for any number of reasons, and it had surely happened before that his kids were just sick that day. They were weirded out that Naruto did not show, too, until Konohamaru mentioned how weird he was being. They had the party anyway. Few even noticed that Hinata was not there, quiet as she generally was, and the ones that did were told by Sakura that she was newly carrying a baby and was probably not feeling well.
> 
> Ta da, questions answered. :P Please ask if you have any others. Now, onward with the finale of this tale.


	11. The Weak Link

Every Red Ops had a day of the week to lead training exercises except Doku. Doku led us every day, like a supervisor. One might think of him as the captain of a sports team because he was always training among us and barking orders from the field. On the other hand, the subordinate exercise leader designed the training exercises for the day and watched. In this way they could observe the effectiveness and the flaws of their own plan from the outside so as to improve upon their own strategies.

Siariu's day to train us was Sunday, and Siariu was instructed to design a one-on-one combat drill. It was foolproof. On Sunday I was going to have a way to place the Life Link seal on every one of the Red Ops except Siariu and Dokue. Now, you might be wondering how that meant I was going to be able to get to Doku, and Siariu… You'll applaud my genius later.

We assembled on the practice field at six a.m. on Sunday. Siariu arranged us all in pairs, giving us each a single opponent to practice drills. All of us were stripped down to just our pants, except that Kiriki wore a sleeveless grey shirt. If I could land a single open-handed attack on bare skin on six opponents, I would be set. The object was to completely immobilize your opponent. That meant that, in essence, we would be wrestling until one of us could no longer move. The idea was that if you could keep your enemy from moving, you could keep them from attacking back. "Of course, if you use both hands to immobilize the enemy, then you have nothing left to defend yourself, so you will need to maintain the hold with one hand only." Her face was set in its familiar cold, unfeeling look. Siariu never smiled unless she was killing someone, after all. "Begin." Luckily the life link jutsu was a one-handed hand sign jutsu. I only needed one free hand for it to work. This was almost too good to be true.

My first opponent was Chadon. He was over fifty years old, which would seem odd to anyone unless you knew that Red Ops was a lifetime commitment. Chadon had seen more battles than anyone on the team, which meant he had probably killed more people than any of us. Like Siariu, he was not known for his dazzling pearly whites, but unlike Siariu, he simply never smiled, not even when he was killing. It was a job, killing was the method. He was the perfect Red Ops; he never displayed any emotion, and he was damned good at causing pain slowly or death swiftly, depending on the job description. It was not going to be easy to land a hit anywhere on him, let alone immobilize.

As we began, Chadon crouched into a low stance. It was a flexible, solid stance that was tried and true; one could move agilely and quickly and yet it would still be difficult to be tipped over or overpowered. It was often referred to as being 'at the ready.' I copied him. It was the best strategy. Chadon took a step left. I took a step left, matching him and preventing the opening. He opened his hands wide, ready for the grapple. I did the same. We circled, staring each other down, trying to judge weakness. Step left, step left. Step left, step left. Who would move first?

He lunged for my right arm. Smart, that. Without one hand, I'd not be able to form most hand signs. Without my right hand, I was unable to form any of my one-handed signs. It was a move that would make me completely immobile… if he managed to snag my arm of course. I turned my body sideways. For an average opponent, it would have sent him sprawling with wasted momentum. Not the Red Ops-trained Chadon, however. He swept around my legs on the ground, reached up and grabbed my throat, dragging me to the ground. Apparently Red Ops weren't in for a fair fight. It was something I knew, of course, but had never been on the receiving end. I hit the ground, my eyes quickly filled with dirt. Chadon swept my arms around behind me, and was just about to secure his one-handed hold on me, ending the duel.  _Oh, hell no!_  I thought, worming my knees beneath me and kicking my body upward. The top of my head hit Chadon in the chin and I was rewarded with the hard snap of his teeth clicking together. I finally had my chance. I grasped his upper arm, releasing the Life Link seals into his flesh and hip tossing him down to the dirt. After a short struggle, I managed to get a two handed hold on him. It was not the way I was supposed to defeat him, however. I didn't really care if I was defeated in the one on ones, though. My task was already complete, at least for Chadon.

I'll spare you the details, but this was how I managed to link up five of my comrades. Doku was not involved in the one-on-ones, so I'd need to tag him separately. Siariu is another matter, but my plan was to seal her last and she would be the one on which I landed the death blow. I had not really come up with a foolproof plan to catch Doku off guard. All signs were pointing to the fact that I would need to fight Doku one on one and at least survive the encounter, though it begged the question: why not just kill him outright? I'd need to be sure that none of the other Red Ops found out before I was able to trick Siariu into killing them all, though. It would be tricky, but not impossible.

And the only way it would work was by direct, apparently idiotic confrontation. I had to make him believe I was somewhat of a retard and goad him into a fight that he believed he could win without a shadow of a doubt. After practice was over, I trailed Doku. A part of me was suddenly curious as to where the Red Ops captain went after work. I had never considered him human enough to believe he had somewhere to be. Now was a good time to find out.

For whatever miraculous reason, he never noticed me tailing him. Perhaps the Red Ops captain was so secure in his belief that he could not be defeated that he simply let his guard down when he was off duty. Perfect for me, stupid for him. After about a fifteen minute walk, Doku stripped off his uniform.  _Never allowed to remove your mask in the field,_ I chastised him in my head. Beneath his uniform, he was plainly dressed in all black with athletic tape wrapped around both wrists. He sighed, seemingly releasing all of his tension from the day's activities. His gait became easy, and over the next few minutes, I believed myself to be watching an entirely different man.

Still, I went unnoticed. I knew it was because of Red Ops training. Now would have been a good time to ambush him, but I was overcome with the curiosity to know where he was going. It took him another twenty minutes or so to reach a tiny cottage in the middle of the trees. In all my years of living in Konoha I had never known it existed. Doku entered the cottage and shut the door gently behind him. I crept up to the windows, searching for his form within. This worked to my advantage. If he was inside the cottage, he had limited avenues of escape. I passed up two windows without result. As I peered through the third, I saw his back as he retreated into a different room. I scurried around the back of the house to the window nearest his position.

In this room, I was staring at his back. What kind of ANBU captain kept his back to the window? I scoffed, wondering what kind of incompetent asshole had been leading the most deadly force on earth unopposed and sitting in a lone cabin with his back to the window. I would have been a better Red Ops leader, with a little training. I peered beyond his seated form, however, and saw something I did not quite expect. A young boy was upon the bed, apparently sleeping. Judging solely by his frail appearance and the equipment attached to him, however, I would say he had been in that state for a while. So who he was he? A younger brother, or son? How had Doku survived with this apparent weakness?

I didn't really think about the questions for too long. I had a job to do, for one thing, and thinking about Doku's personal life was only going to cause error. I could not worry about the comatose brat in the bedcovers. Doku himself was a monstrosity who needed to be killed.

Looking back on it now, doing this made me no better than they.

I tapped on the glass. Doku's head whipped around, his eyes wide with fear. Yes, honest to goodness, heart-stopping fear. That emotion was gone almost as fast as it came, first turning into white hot anger, then fading into the emotionless mask I was accustomed to seeing on his haggard face. I smiled, a grin that never quite reached my eyes. Doku left the room through a door, and quickly appeared outside in my field of vision.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me, his voice hard-edged with intensity.

I straightened my posture, trying my best to appear pompous and cocksure. "I came here to strike a bargain," I crowed.

I could see in his eyes that he was wondering why I needed to follow him to his most private place in the world, but he didn't ask. I didn't ask about the boy on the bed either. It was not my business, and I needed to focus on Doku if I wanted to stay alive. All bullshit aside, Doku was still much more experienced, and probably more deadly than I was by a long shot. I needed him off guard if I even stood a snowball's chance in hell of winning.

"A bargain?" he asked doubtful.

"Yeah. If I beat you, you release me from this shitty job. I want my life back, you bastard." I narrowed my eyes, hoping to appear angry and resentful. Inside I truly felt nothing.

He appeared wary. "You know very well that Red Ops is for life."

"Whose life?" I countered. "Mine or yours?"

He quirked an eyebrow. He probably thought I was going batty.

I continued. "If I can beat you into death blow, you will release me from service."

He stared at me, but I didn't dare guess at his thoughts. I had thought about it before though, that stare. He probably thought to let me think he would let me out of Red Ops, but then would just kill me outright. He also probably thought that once I had him positioned for a death blow, that I would not actually do it if he promised me a way out. If I killed him, I was free. It was really that simple.

However, Doku was not stupid. This was a high stakes gamble, at the very least. But, whether he decided to take me seriously or not, we were about to fight, and I planned to win. This little acting ploy was only meant to cause him to underestimate me.

"If you can make me submit, I will release you from service," he lied. "If you cannot, I will kill you."

I grinned like a fool. "Of course."

"Then let us begin."

* * *

 

I stared down at the deadly, beautiful woman cradled in eyelid of the Fourth Hokage. She was so pale in the failing sunlight that she looked like a fallen star trying to find her way back to heaven. I was mildly surprised to note that her everyday attire was a sheer silk long sleeved blouse with slits all the way up each arm and practical, skin fitting capris. She wore the heeled boots that Sakura was fond of, allowing her bare knees to poke out. It was an odd look, but not an unpleasant one. She stared up at me, her eyes shining with the light of violence, belying the gentle structure of her face. "I've been waiting for you," she said on a sigh.

I hesitated. Had she? I said nothing.

She trailed a thin finger along the stone and followed it with her eyes. "You seem surprised." She uttered a short laugh, one entirely without humor. "You were my choice, Naruto Uzumaki," she whispered. "Not Doku's. Doku was sure you would not succeed, but I managed to convince him that your power was attractive enough to give you a shot. You see… I've been a monster since I was born. I know that I'm a demon of a human being. I've never found joy in anything except the screams of the dying. The more innocent, the better. I've hated myself for all these long years, and I was a shoe-in for Red Ops. It seemed I was born for the job."

Why was she telling me all of this?

"The difference between me and them, though, is that I know it's wrong. Red Ops members seem to snap after a time. Steeped in the blood and violence that makes us who we are, eventually we embrace it and it becomes what is normal. I was born this way… so I guess I never went crazy. I'm not bitter about Red Ops forcing me to be this way, because I already was this way. I can recognize that what I do are terrible things, and I want it to stop. I'm not an innocent though. I can't seem to 'justify' killing myself." She laughed out the word 'justify,' raising her eyes to meet mine once more.

"What are you saying, Siariu?" I asked, wary. I had come here with a plan to trick her and be able to place the seal, then drive a kunai through her black heart. Now I was finding it a little difficult.

"I want you to kill us all," she said with a wistful smile. I just stared at her. "How were you planning on doing it, though? Am I the last?"

I nodded. "You're the last. I've placed a Life Link seal on all but Doku. Doku is dead."

"And his son?"

I hid my surprise. "You knew?"

"Well, yes. I think I may be the reason the rest of his family is dead." Her eyes shut halfway, as if remembering a pleasant memory.

"You think-? No nevermind. It doesn't matter."

"No it doesn't. And now that Doku is dead, the kid probably will be soon." She sighed, leaning back against my father's stone eyeball. "I suppose you intended to seal me last, then kill me?" I nodded. "Because I am the weakest link?" I nodded again. "Figures. How?"

"Seduction," I replied simply. It was true. Forgive me.

"A pity," she said on another sigh. "That would have been a nice way to go." We watched the sun set in silence for a few moments. "I don't suppose that's still a possibility…?" she trailed off quietly.

I sighed, letting some of my humanity return. Siariu had probably never enjoyed a man's touch; she had probably never really enjoyed anything to be honest. It was just a kiss, one simple kiss… and I was only a man—a man which, after so long of ignoring his wife and denying all human emotion, would not mind a kiss from a pretty woman once he remembered he was just a man.

Nonetheless, I had to consider my self preservation. "I need to be sure you are unarmed, now that you know why I am here. I don't want a knife in the ribs."

"Fair enough," she answered. Then, much to my surprise, she unbuckled her boots and pulled them off. She wiggled her toes and looked at me, as if to say "no weapons under my boots, see?" Then, without a word, she removed her clothes… all of them, leaving her pale body naked and gleaming in the failing light. She was marked all over with various scars. It was certainly a travesty to mar such an otherwise perfect body.

I couldn't breathe. I'd not seen any other woman's naked body besides Hinata's, and I'd been exposed to this one so quickly that my head was spinning. I twirled my fingers, indicating that she should turn around—so I could be sure there were no weapons attached to her back. She smiled in wry amusement but did as I requested. Since she had proven she was unarmed as I requested, I dropped down to the eyelid as I had promised and planted one hand on either side of her head, trapping her body between mine and the cold, unforgiving stone behind her. She gazed up at me, ready and waiting. I stared intensely into her face, then meshed my lips with hers. It was a gentle and innocent kiss… I was a married man, after all. Before long, however, she wanted more. She hooked a leg around mine and jerked me closer, opening her mouth up to mine. I am only a man… I didn't resist much... meaning I didn't resist at all. While she was distracted, I snaked my hand around her back and pressed my fingertips into her skin. In one hot burst of chakra, I burned the seal into her back. She gasped and grew weak in my grip, then finally broke the kiss. "That was it, then, huh?" she asked, almost sounding sad.

"Yes, that was it," I answered grimly.

Her eyes were full of understanding. We both knew what was coming next. I didn't want it to be bad for her though, for some odd reason. Despite all of her atrocity, I felt sympathy for this woman. I tightened my grip on her back, pulling her close for one last kiss. She fell into it eagerly, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. Then, with my free hand, I pulled a kunai from the holster at my leg and whipped it around, plunging it into her back and through her heart.

Her sharp inhalation of breath took all of my own air. I broke the kiss, gasping as she sagged in my grip, her head falling upon my shoulder like a satisfied lover's. Hot blood poured over the back of my hand and down her back. She trembled in my arms. Within seconds she was dead.

I had no way to make sure that the Life Link jutsu worked until tomorrow morning's practice. I went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this scene has been one of my favorites so far, personally. I like a bit of human weakness. I enjoyed instilling in Naruto a tad bit of pity, a little bit of infidelity. I like that it's hard to decide how to feel about this moment. It's almost as if I have to ask myself, Do I feel bad for Siariu? Do I feel angry that Naruto kissed her? Am I sad about this moment, or happy?
> 
> I just like it. I think it's a beautiful scene. It could just be me, of course. I crafted it, so why wouldn't I like it? X-D
> 
> Red Ops is dead. I know a lot of you think they are a lot dumber than they should have been (intelligence-wise). I did this for a couple of reasons. 1. I'm terribly impatient and I have trouble with dragging stories out... so I couldn't characterize brilliance. 2. It leaves the reason for it open ended. Perhaps they'd been in operation so long that the fear they caused made them sloppier. Eh?
> 
> Tell me what you think. ^_^ Thanks for reading!


	12. True Strength

The walk home changed me. I was free at last, free from the bonds of the Red Ops. They would never again kill an innocent. Sure, there might be times when an untimely death would probably save the village, but it was a risk I was willing to take to save more lives. Some may argue that a few hundred lives lost were worth it if thousands were saved. I didn't think that anyone's life was worth more than someone else's. If I could help it,  _all_  of those lives would be saved, period.

It was at that moment that I realized I wanted nothing more than to become Hokage, still, after all I had been through. I could not tolerate a single life being lost for any reason, and I tended to feel a personal responsibility already if that were the case. With that sudden rush of pride, that sudden returned need to protect the Leaf Village, all of my emotions came rushing back. I didn't need to be an emotionless killing machine anymore. There was nothing in this world that could provoke enough fear for me to lose touch with who I really was.

I was Naruto Uzumaki. When had I ever been known for being able to control my emotions? What a fool I was! I let all of the anger and hate come back in torrents. I hated Doku. I hated Siariu. I hated all the Red Ops monsters who had massacred Sadako Village. I hated them for all they stood for. I hated them for the fear they had caused in Tsunade. I hated myself for being a part of them. Although my brain told me that I had done the things I had done so that I could destroy everyone responsible, my heart hated me for it. I loathed myself. I could never be the same and would never forgive myself for the pain I had caused. More than that, though, I hated myself for the distress I had caused my wife.

 _Hinata…_ with that thought, all of the strength drained from my body. All I felt was  _need_. Hinata was my rock when I was not strong. Hinata would understand why I had done what I had done. Hinata would forgive me. Hinata would kiss me and everything would be all right. Hinata would caress away all the memories my skin had of another woman in my arms…

Hinata was not in the house.

"Hinata?" I called. No answer. "Hinata?" I ran from room to room, looking for signs. I felt a panic rising in my chest, threatening to shatter everything I was, when suddenly she was in the kitchen looking crazed. The look in her eyes was violent, strained.

She bore down on me, not wasting any time. In an instant she had me pinned to a wall and was snarling into my face, the tip of a kunai pressed into my ribs. "I'm not leaving without answers," she spat.

My eyes widened. My sanity was riding such a thin line I feared it would break. "O-okay," I answered weakly, sounding like a boy.

"Just what the  _FUCK_  is going on here?" she yelled. This was not the Hinata I had locked out of the house. This was a Hinata I had not seen in years… the kunoichi who never gave up and trained until she had no more strength to continue and passed out from exhaustion on the practice field, only to wake up and redouble her efforts for lost time. This was a fierce warrior who had left the battlefield to heal the sick and dying. Many years she had spent away from the bloodshed, but she was not a dulled weapon. She was every bit the danger she had been then.

"Hinata… I'm sorry," I whispered, letting a tear slip from my face. I had done this. I had driven her to the breaking point. I could only imagine how much pain I had caused her. "I have not been myself."

"No shit," she growled. "All ANBU bullshit aside Naruto, if you don't tell me what you've done with my husband I will kill you here and now."

"Hinata, you wouldn't…" I began. Would she? A week ago I would not have hurt a single Leaf Ninja, yet I had murdered Genma in cold blood. Was he even a traitor? I was not sure. He had said he was, but was he? Or was he just trying to get us to let his children go?

What about Genma's daughter and son?

What about Doku's son?

What about  _my_  daughter or son?

I started sobbing. I couldn't help it. I lost all the strength in my limbs and I just let myself sink against the wall. All I could wonder was what had I done? The decision to join Red Ops had been the worst mistake of my life. I had probably lost everything.

Hinata, just like I had said, was not going to kill me. As soon as I started sliding, she jerked the knife back as if surprised she was holding it. She watched me slump against the wall. It was then she noticed that I was wearing someone else's blood, not to mention the bizarre uniform she had never seen before. "Oh my goodness," she whispered. "Naruto, what have you done?" She sounded suspicious.

"Terrible things," I answered on a hoarse whisper. "Terrible things that I hate myself for. Hinata, if I can't forgive myself, I doubt you can either." I had thought that she might, but now I was not sure if she would. I was not sure if I wanted her to, even. If she forgave me it meant that I had gotten away with it. As all of my memories came crashing back with the emotions I had denied at first, I hated myself more by the second. My head hung low as if burdened with the weight of its memories.

She chucked the knife across the kitchen floor and settled in next to me. She didn't say anything for several minutes, just sat there. I breathed in and out, tortured bouts of air that felt like they were slicing my heart to ribbons. I wanted to touch her. I wanted her to touch me, just to let me know she was real and she was still here. Any human contact that was not someone trying to force me to be something I was not. Something  _real_. She took a few very deep breaths, each ending in a heavy sigh. Then finally, when the silence seemed to have stretched on forever, she dropped her head onto my shoulder. "I love you," was all she said.

My heart broke. I did not deserve this woman. I reached out a tremulous hand and laid it across her cheek. "I love you too," I answered. "More than I can put into words. I'm sorry, darling."

"It's okay," she replied. I could tell by the tone of her voice she didn't mean it, not yet. She had not forgiven me, but she would try.

"I can tell you now," I said.

"Do I want to know?" Her voice was uncertain.

I hesitated, thinking. "I don't think you want to know, Hinata, but I think that you should."

She clambered around in front of me, splaying her knees out to either side of her hands. She peered into my eyes. What she saw there, I will never know, but what I saw in hers was inspirational. Forgiveness, love, desire, sympathy… here was a woman who understood me. The only one in the world who probably ever would. "In that case," she said quietly, "you can tell me tomorrow. I think tonight we need each other."

My rock.

Despite her calm and placid demeanor, I think Hinata was always stronger than I was. Sure, I seemed to have more chakra, stronger ninjutsu, and a more overbearing personality. If you thought this was what made me strong, then you've never met anyone like my Hinata. If you thought that I was strong, then you should know that at this singular moment, I was a broken man, and despite everything, Hinata was here for me in my time of need. She had put all of her fears and pain aside for something much more important: Love.

She stood and held out both her hands. I obeyed, placing mine in hers. Her smile was the sweetest thing I've known in my life, already healing me, little by little. I followed her like a lost puppy into the room we shared. She stood at the foot of the bed, then tugged on my hands. Transfixed, I stepped into her embrace. We rested our foreheads against each other's. Her smile became crooked, and a tear leaked from her eye. She had fought it; I could tell by the way her face had twisted. How could I have hurt her? I moved the tear away from her face with my thumb. "Your face is not suited for crying," I told her.

She laughed nervously. "You put too much faith in my face, love. It's just a face."

"It's a very good face," I assured her. The compliment settled into her mind and seemed to relax her. When I felt like she was calmer, I kissed her the way I used to kiss her, slowly and with a lot more meaning than I could ever say. I had never had a way with words. I was always used to showing people what I meant, and Hinata was no exception. She responded the way she had always responded. I wrapped my hands around her slender waist and pulled her close. Her graceful body had always fit far too perfectly against my own.

Everything was falling into place. A week of intense emotional torture was melting away slowly but surely. She sighed, then leaned back, pulling us both down onto the bed. We kissed for a good long while, neither particularly ready to jump into anything too feverish. We were a couple in healing. We needed each other, but not that way. I kissed every inch of her; it was my way of asking for forgiveness. She kissed every inch of me; it was her way of trying to soothe my fears of her leaving me. She leaned over me, her dark hair closing us into our own private booth. We stared at each other for a while. "Where've you been?" she asked me sadly.

I let out a long breath and looked away from that innocent face. She wasn't having any of it though; she gripped my chin and pulled me back to face her. I had to face the truth, and she would need to know. "ANBU had a secret society called the Red Ops, Hinata. I was invited to join it and given very few details. I thought it would be best for us. I'd get to be part of something great, and the pay was better. I thought I was doing something good. But, it turns out that Red Ops were a bunch of bloodthirsty murderers. I was never allowed to leave it or speak of it."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why can you speak of it now, then?"

"I killed them," I replied quietly.

Her eyes widened. "How many were there?"

"Seven others."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Only seven. Not too many." I didn't correct her. Though it was only seven, it was probably the seven strongest ninja in the world. The only reason I had succeeded was because I had used their own craft against them. All except for Siariu. Oddly enough, she still managed to glean a little bit of sympathy from me. I should be dead right now. It was a fact that I was never going to take for granted for the rest of my life. "You said you did terrible things. Killing these murderers was not bad, by the sounds of it. There's more to this story, I take it?"

I nodded grimly. "I killed Genma, Hinata."

She gasped, covering her mouth with one hand. Tears automatically sprang in her eyes. They had never been close to my knowledge, but Hinata knew that Genma had been a decent man. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure Genma was innocent. I bet he had made everything up so that his kids could go free. I watched her face, waiting for the inevitable rejection. Yes, I was a monster not worthy of forgiveness, and certainly not from this particular kunoichi. Hinata was the gentlest, most compassionate and innocent woman I'd ever met. It was what had driven me crazy when I had finally noticed her. She was human perfection in all of its forms. Simply irresistible. "What did Genma do?" she breathed.

"Well," I answered honestly, "I don't think he did anything, Hinata."

"Then why?"

I grabbed her wrists gently, and switched places with her on the bed so she was staring up at me instead. When I had her situated, I told my story from the beginning to the end. I showed her my uniform and my books. It almost felt like it could have been a bad dream that was too real, but I knew better. She was trembling by the end of it, and though there were tears welled up in those gorgeous eyes, she managed to hold back from crying. "Naruto," she whispered, "how did you do it? If I know you at all, you're torturing yourself right now."

"It doesn't matter anymore. It's over." Her concern was admirable, but I didn't want to see her face in pain anymore. I bent down and kissed her. There would be no more talk of the vile Red Ops tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the breath of relief. The end is near.


	13. Severance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Larry.

I woke up in the strangest, most heartbreaking, terrifying predicament in my entire life. After all my training in Red Ops, the horrors I had witnessed and/or taken part in… nothing compared to this.

The first thing a Shinobi notices in a situation like mine is that his hands are bound. Without his hands, a Shinobi cannot make hand signs and release chakra. My hands were tied in a masterful way, with the second and third fingers on each hand taped down to my palm, my arms crossed across my chest, my hands each splayed upon my shoulder, and tied so tightly that my arms ached. I was, simply put, screwed. Unless I could wiggle my way out of this mess, I was at the mercy of my captor.

The second thing a Shinobi notices is that none of the rest of him can move either. Without the freedom to use my arms and legs, I had no means to escape. Again, this was done well. The bottoms of my feet were pressed together and tied in place. My legs formed the shape of a diamond that was pressed flat against my very own bed. I could never gain enough leverage this way to raise my body up. As I mentioned already, my arms were already done for. My torso and legs were tied to the bed.

The last thing that any person would notice is the gag that was in my mouth. I would not be able to speak. I was in a pickle. There was no way I could escape without assistance. I felt my eyes widen. Never, in all of my life, had I felt so helpless. When I had been a kid I felt weak, but at least I had tried. I was well and truly fucked this time. I could only hope that Hinata was alright, though she was surely dead or worse already. I only really had one question after that…  _who_  had done this to me? How had I gone from the deadliest human being in the world to being strung up like a pig for slaughter?

"Good morning, husband," said the gentle voice that had loved me. My blood froze solid in the chambers of my heart. I raised my head to see the source of the voice. This could not have been my wife. I had to strain the muscles in my neck to raise my eyes high enough to see, but there she was, silhouetted against the morning sunrise. She was sitting in a chair borrowed from the kitchen, dressed as if she were on her way back to the battlefield instead of a long day at the hospital. She wore that delicious lycra suit that had been made for her rotation training, her hair pulled back in a practical style that suited combat. A katana lay across the arms of the kitchen chair, and her slender hands were rested lovingly upon its blade to keep it from slipping.

I could not speak, but I thought her name aloud in my head.  _Hinata._

"I gagged you so you could listen for once. We have some things to discuss, my dear, I'm afraid," she said on a heavy sigh, her eyes intent on mine. "You see, I had already known about Red Ops. I had known about Genma that day it had happened. When you started acting strange, I went straight to the Hokage. In case you had forgotten, she's the only one I have to answer to these days, since she is the only medic above Sakura and Shizune and I in rank. She didn't want to tell me, of course, but neither could she keep it from me. She was worried about you too, and she deemed it an exception to the rules this time to tell me…to warn me." Her eyes narrowed as they regarded mine. I was still floored. I could not believe what was happening. Hinata had tied me up. It had been one of my favorite fantasies… but in my head it had always played out a little differently.

"And then when you went all cuckoo on me, I reported it directly to the Hokage, and I was given a special mission to observe your movements. It's never hard for me to track you, Naruto. You know I can do it." It was true. With Hinata's Byakugan and a great many hours of dedicated tracker training, Hinata was even better than Neji. "I've been following you since your third day of work. And every move you've made has gone straight to the Hokage's ear. She knows about your training. She knows you killed Genma, and she knows how he was killed."

I wanted to scream to her that it was on the Hokage's order, but I didn't think she would be believe me—not that I could scream at all.

"She also knows that you pushed your pregnant wife into a wall and locked her outside alone at night," she added quietly. "And that was not something Naruto Uzumaki would have _ever_  done." She paused for a moment, composing herself. I took the opportunity to try to ease my sore neck by flexing the muscles in it, but it only made things worse. I hardly dared to take my eyes away from the hauntingly beautiful ghost in the chair in front of the window that looked so much like my beloved wife, Hinata. When she had regained her composure, she continued on, her voice colder. "My Naruto would not have treated me like that. Even when he was angry he could hardly yell at me, let alone hurt me, and the baby we had hoped and dreamed for… he could have been killed.

A painful rending occurred in my heart at that moment. My heartstrings threatened to snap at the news. I vaguely remembered being told I had a child on the way, but now I knew for certain. I was about to be a father. I was about to have a son! The sharp contrast between pure joy and an unexplainable fear made me want to weep.

"My Naruto died a week ago," she went on. "This man before me is an impostor. Your… act… last night sickens me. I don't even know which one of you is pretend anymore." Her voice started to quaver again. She took a couple of deep breaths.

Her eyes hardened before she let the next words spill from her mouth. "Tsunade knows you killed the other Red Ops. That, and the intelligence I've given her, well… you're a liability, Naruto. You're far too dangerous even for an ANBU. What's worse is that you're utterly unpredictable. I had told her before you'd never hurt me and you did. We can't trust you.  _I_ can't trust you. I really wish I could, Naruto, because I love you so much it—" her voice broke as the tears finally spilled over. She sobbed once or twice, pausing to wipe the wetness away. She pulled her damp fingers away and frowned at them, seemingly divining more meaning in a few stray tears than in anything else.

"Tsunade has decided that it's a good time to destroy the Red Ops. You've done most of the work." There was a pause. I knew the next sentence:  _You're the only one left._

"You're the only one left. It made the most sense for me to do it. I have access to you at your most vulnerable hours, and you'd never expect me."

 _You're damned right I wouldn't!_ I wanted to scream. A small part of me wanted to congratulate her though. Her skills had come so far since she was that frightened little genin with the weird stutter. As her friend and husband, I was overcome with enough pride to almost overshadow the growing fear in my gut. I knew already what was in the near future. Hinata meant to kill me. Here, now, in this room, with me tied to the bed we had shared. I accepted it. Heavens above knew I deserved it. Nonetheless, it stung. I was sad, very sad.

"Before I do it, though, I want you to know that Lady Hokage allowed me to make this decision, because I know you best...Do you know what I'm saying Naruto?" I realized she actually wanted me to answer this time. I nodded. The tears were still flowing freely, but she was not racked by sobs any longer. Even knowing she was planning on killing me, I still loved her. "I've been given the choice to kill you. Do you understand?" I nodded again, but my eyes were starting to burn. I felt like a fool that I was about to cry again, but I would ask you what you might have done. Chained to my own marriage bed, faced by the woman carrying my son, and looking Death in the face, I was severely depressed. Only yesterday I had won. The Red Ops were gone, Hinata was here, waiting… I had assumed I would get back to my old life, pick up where we had left off, and sally forth.

"I love you," she added. "You know that, don't you?" I nodded again, but I could not watch that perfect face any longer. I let my head fall upon the mattress, and turned toward the furthest wall like a petulant teenager. I could not bear to see her. She represented all of my failures in one neat little package. I had never deserved her in the first place, and yet, against all odds, she had loved me. Because of her, I had tried to make a better man of myself, and I had  _almost_  succeeded. In one week, though, I had ruined everything, and my everything had centered around  _her_. I sighed, knowing the end was near.

I heard the sound of metal scraping upon another hard surface. Hinata crossed the short space to the bed and climbed up on top of me, straddling my waist. I still didn't look at her. She leaned down close to my turned away cheek. I felt her soft lips press as gentle as a dove's wing against my temple, and I heard her whisper. As the last word faded from my eardrum, I felt the tip of the blade force its way slowly into my gut. I jerked in response.

As Shinobi, we had all been taught to ignore our emotions. Shinobi were tools of war. Emotions made one weak. I could not cry at the Hokage's funeral any more than I could have cried at my fallen comrades' funeral services. I could not favor a lover over any other comrade in battle. As an ANBU operative, I had been taught to ignore pain. Captured ANBU would be subjected to the harshest forms of torture imaginable to gather information. From the Red Ops, I had learned to detach myself from emotion and pain and focus through the blood red haze.

But training had never involved a blade as wide as someone's wrist slicing its way through your vitals.

Slowly, so slowly, the sword cut through me. I admit that after the first second of pain beyond belief coursed through my veins I felt almost nothing at all. It was as if all the pain in the world had clashed in an epic battle within my abdomen and canceled itself out. I knew what had been cut as time passed more slowly than it possibly could have. I knew the second my lung was parted like butter because it felt like I was breathing in shards of glass. I tasted the blood welling up in my throat, kept from escaping by the gag. My whole body started shaking in shock.

I lost touch with who and where I was as my death blow enacted its tolls for what seemed like an eternity. It was a wonder that the shock did not kill me. A moment later, I started screaming into the gag. They weren't powerful screams, just shouts of agony. My vision blurred. Colors swirled. My beautiful Hinata's tear-streaked face blurred as if it were a Genjutsu dispelled. I no longer felt my extremities. I could not breathe. Panic lurched through my chest and brain. A few more moments of the most indescribable mix of sensations passed, and then my eyes rolled back into my head and my chest stopped trying to breathe.

My heartbeat faded seconds later, just as the sounds of despair shrieked into my ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By a show of hands, who's surprised? :-O I warned you that the ending was not going to be pleasant. I hope no one held onto the naive hope that everything was just going to work itself out. Well, until next time... Thanks for following this story. ^_^ Your readership is much appreciated.


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